Wednesday, April 23, 2014

It's much easier...

...to define yourself by media projections than to get along with a real-life person. A real-life person is messy. And there are numerous "down times." I'm 48, and I'm just now learning this.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

The Long Island Medium

I find the "Long Island Medium" show on TLC very peaceful to watch. (I was about to provide a link to the site, but the site was such a mess of loud, intrusive, junky ads that it completely belied my "peaceful" feeling after watching Theresa Caputo in action all day today.)

Watching the show itself, though: I'm respectful of her channeling ability. She makes me feel hopeful. After watching her, I feel that things aren't so utterly random and meaningless. I feel a connection with other souls.

And I'm an intellectual hard-ass. I hate bullshit, "feel-good" stuff based on nothing other than creepy, rah-rah "let's all feel good!" stuff that the vast majority of surface society is based on. Caputo has said herself that she's not going to channel negative energy, which I think is false, but I also understand it... (In my mind, surely the family/friends that have died violently aren't all going to be hovering there giving off sweetness and light. Yet, equally logically, they're also not going to be there in ALL hatred.) Caputo channels the positive -- i.e., the spirits from the other side saying "hi," giving her signals like numbers, tattoos, specific injuries... Stuff that Caputo herself couldn't have known but that the person that she's meeting with knows about her departed.

Given that 75% of the universe is "dark matter"/"dark energy" that even the most brilliant of physicists cannot explain... I'm quite comfortable thinking that the 75% is the energy (which cannot be created or destroyed) of those passed away.

Me, personally: I wish that the dead Ginny (my high-school love when I was 18 and she was 17) still loved me and watched over me. But she was 22 when she died, and in love with someone else at the time. I'm not sure that her spirit is wise enough to be anything to me at 48. (What does a dead 22-year-old know?) My relatives: My grandmother on my father's side was always especially nice to me when I was 8-10. And I always liked my mother's middle German sister. But what do they have to do with me? They both had others, more important to them, to think about, to visit, once dead.

Psychologically, from what I've heard, my mother's German grandfather, and my father's East Texas grandfather, might be closest to my own mind-set (intellectually curious and confrontational, and geographically restless) -- but again... what do these guys care about me?

Who is watching over me? After watching Caputo, I feel that someone must be, but... who? I am 100% alone in the material world.

Friday, April 04, 2014

Candid on the set with cake and ax

This is the title of something brilliant. (Below is the picture that inspired it.)