Sunday, June 26, 2016

"Love you more than I did when you were mine..."


O say can you see

I'm drinking this right now, just saw the label. (That Budweiser was about to label its beer "America" had been publicized weeks ago, but I thought it was a joke. Here it is in front of me.) A lengthy quote from the "Star-Spangled Banner" at the top. A quote from "America, the Beautiful" below the "America" (once "Budweiser") label. A quote from the Pledge of Allegiance at the bottom of the label. "Land of the Free" and "Home of the Brave" hanging out on the wings.

This is a BEER BOTTLE.

This is why the Left has been dismissing what this country stands for. Because of stupid corporate shit like this.


"Aaaaaarrrrgh!!! Just because I yell at you doesn't make you ME!"

--Shrieking young woman walking alone on the other side of the street from me today. [She wasn't yelling at me, and I didn't see a phone in her hand.]

Thursday, June 23, 2016


Winston Churchill (May 11, 1953):

"We have our own dream and our own task. We are with Europe, but not of it. We are linked but not combined. We are interested and associated but not absorbed. If Britain must choose between Europe and the open sea, she must always choose the open sea."

Congratulations, Great Britain, for standing up for your sovereignty.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Old Loves in the News

My very first lover (1989 to 1991; I was 23, she was 36.). Recently profiled in a March 2016 "Texas Monthly" article.

I knew her story from what she'd told me, but what stood out from the article to me: that I hated sleeping in complete darkness with her; that the "This Week in Texas" cover appeared the very week we moved in together in 1989; that I hated her teen-asshole goth friends (the ones accused of the Yoghurt Shop murders in Austin in '91); that her "problem with authority" extended to my request (!) that she not sleep around. I also found it interesting that, in the article, she blamed her parents and her cohorts for getting jail time --- rather than blaming herself for robbing a bank!

Back when I first knew her beginning in 1989 when she was 36, I had a clue that, because she'd been imprisoned at age 18, she was stuck mentally at age 18 and seeking out age-18 experiences and kids... True. I came from a traditional home, where Christmases and birthdays were celebrated. On my first Christmas with M., she took me to a party at an apartment occupied by a group of punk-kids who couldn't afford an apartment on their own. We sat around a tree playing some sort of "alphabet" game: "A is for Asshole, B is for Butthole, C is for Cunt..." Not my idea of Christmas.

Someone today asked me if I were interested in re-connecting with her... Ugh, no. She was awful, not bright at all, despite her cloaking herself in an "artistic" veil. She painted and claimed to "write," but... She couldn't paint, and she couldn't write. And she was pretty sleazy; sleeping around constantly. It's interesting that "Texas Monthly" is covering her, and I still think she's an interesting person. And I'm actually kind of weirdly proud that my first lover was someone rather extreme. But would I ever want to be with someone like that again? No. I was only with someone like that to begin with because I was lost and didn't know any better. The clubbing, the weirdness was exciting at 23. I still hadn't completed my Bachelor's degree, I was floundering, I thought the decadent nightlife was cool and impressive.

My attempts at relations with her messed me up for quite a few years. We broke up in '91. Since then, I've gotten a BA and an MA. I've lived in San Francisco and New York City. I've created a Joan Crawford website from scratch. I'm now an academic editor. She, in 2016, at age 63, is still talking about her heyday of 1989 thru 1991, and her '72 bank robbery. I couldn't glean from the article that she'd done anything with herself since 1991.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Shovels & Rope // Gasoline

Seeing this for the first time recently didn't make me cry or anything, but it did give me chills and a sense of hope for humanity (in the sense that perhaps someday non-bullshit will once again prevail, in both music and in life). I don't particularly desire this as my "soundtrack-for-life" or anything, but... I do appreciate it being out there. It means way more to me than any idiotic stylized video with group dancers, as has been the wont for the past 20 years.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Kris Kardashian, 1985: I Love My Friends


Mary Gauthier: How You Learn To Live Alone

You sit there in the rubble, 'til the rubble feels like home...

Mary Gauthier: I Drink

A week or so ago, I woke up on the couch in front of the TV at 4am to hear this playing.
Austin City Limits or Artists Den, I dunno -- something on PBS after-hours. I'd never heard of "Mary Gauthier" before, and I initially didn't like her stereotypical "butchiness," but by the end of the song, I was crying --- the gently stated utterly brutal honesty/horror.

1950: The Damned Don't Cry

Sunday, June 19, 2016

OJ Simpson: Made in America

I've been watching ESPN's "OJ Simpson: Made in America" program all week. Very, very heavy and sad. I understand (as I did at the time) that black Americans were disgruntled by long-term and more recent abuses at the hands of the LAPD (e.g., Rodney King in 1991). But I also could not fathom the cheering by blacks at Simpson's "Not Guilty" verdict. To me, that reaction was sick.

The murder/Bronco chase/verdict were all tied up for me with my own personal plans to go to San Francisco for grad school in a writing program in the fall of 1994. The murder happened on June 13, 1994; the Bronco "low-speed chase" happened four days later on-air during the NBA playoffs (with the Rockets) that I was watching while still in Austin.

The verdict came down a year later, at 10am on October 3, 1995, while I was waiting at a bus-stop on Geary Street in San Francisco to take me to the San Francisco State University campus and my job there. I'd been watching the trial coverage on the news that morning, finally had to leave home for my job. Learned of the verdict at the stop when a carload of black guys drove by whooping and shouting out some version of "Go, OJ!"

I felt sick to my stomach.When I arrived at my library job, my older white female boss (who had heard the news) and I just looked at each other. A little bit later in the morning, a black student came in to the library office for some mundane matter... My boss and I looked at each other again. My boss was the most liberal of San Franciscans, and I was a liberal Democrat at the time. But we both at that moment were silently, angrily ANTI any black person that happened to walk into the office at that moment.

This week's ESPN program made it clear that previous abuses of blacks at the hands of the LAPD contributed greatly to the sense of triumph that some black people might have felt at the announcement of OJ Simpson's "Not Guilty" verdict. As interviewees from the program stated: "Now you [white people] know how it feels." And "This is payback for Rodney King and for 400 years." And then there was the statement by one black commentator that the OJ verdict was "like the day Jackie Robinson opened the door for black players." (Really?? You sick fuck.)

I understand blacks' anger at past treatment. But I don't, however, give any credence whatsoever to their nearly uniform approval of OJ Simpson's murder of his ex-wife. Such approval seems both sick and unintelligent and irrational. I'll never support any group of people who agreed (77%) that OJ was innocent of the murder of his ex-wife.

See the murder "pics" below. You happy with this, "Black Community"?

A p.s. One of the last times that I spoke to my father was while I was in San Francisco during the OJ trial. At that time, while we were discussing the case on the phone, he actually said to me, his daughter, re Nicole Simpson, "She was bought and paid for." See the murder "pics" below, Daddy. That's what happens when men like you think your girlfriend/wife/daughter is "bought and paid for."