Saturday, August 12, 2006

The gun that will keep us together

Happy Birthday to Me! (Well, the 11th. I'm up late.) Sharing this illustrious date: Hulk Hogan, Jerry Falwell, Alex Haley, Mike Douglas (who also died today), and..David's man!

My birthday horoscopes:

Rob Brezsny: "A few weeks ago, eight-year-old Harrison Vonderau was playing golf with his dad on a course in Cleveland when he shot a hole-in-one. Father and son experienced an even more shocking delight 20 minutes later when the boy scored yet another hole-in-one. It was an almost unbelievable accomplishment for anyone, let alone a kid. Harrison is your role model for the coming week, Leo. I predict that a young part of you--either your inner child or your inner teenager--will score an unlikely and spectacular coup, the equivalent of two holes-in-one."

Astroscope.com: "You may be feeling extra dreamy today, STEPHANIE. Your mood may be fluctuating all over the place and somehow does not know where to stop. It may be hard to muster other people to share in your boisterous nature. Trying to get people to jump on the bandwagon of excitement may be much like pulling teeth. Perhaps there is something going on with them and their emotions that you are simply not noticing. Pay attention."

Yeah, yeah. What I really want from my "inner teenager" on this day, week, month, year is... OK. Lindsay Lohan. Please. No, I mean it unironically...PLEASE!! Although---and why can't I simply be soft and womanly and accepting---her insane desire to go to Iraq ("with Hillary" I first heard; my first question: "Duff or Clinton?") might prove to be both a logistical and psychological barrier. Still, since I'm from Texas, I'm sure I could teach her to shoot straighter than that so-called "security" man. Really. My daddy shot armadillos in our front yard, after all, and let me take aim at frogs out by our pond.

I think Lindsay and I could really bond over that "crazy Daddy" thing.

3 comments:

David said...

Is a Lindsay L. site in your future?

Rpeyton said...

She could go with the USO. I watched Kathy Griffin show when she went over there. She said there were not many people willing to entertain over there.

And if Lohan can not be acquired will Angelina Jolie bee a suitalbe substitute?

Beth Austin said...

No LiLo site anywhere in my future! That girl has no problem getting recognized, and the sites out there already seem to be covering EVERYTHING more than adequately. If I ever get the Joan site whipped into shape, my next venture would definitely be Julie London---A huge talent, and under-recognized. The two biggest sites for her online now are either pop-up ad-filled or amateurish (i.e., the owners want a free site, so only put up the tiniest of pictures), and neither is ever updated more than every 9 months or so, if that.