Friday, October 19, 2007

"You held your breath and the door for me..."

Thank you, God. I've come to you again and again as a complete beggar in the past few months, with absolutely nothing to offer you, just my begging... I'm knocked out by how much you've responded and blessed me in my times of need... THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.


I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is think and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

(repeat chorus)

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that Ive ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

(Alanis Morissette)


Anonymous said...

Well, this is new and fresh - I don't imagine it's sincere...
Good try!

Beth Austin said...

My problem is, I was raised in an environment (the rural South) where God was shoved down our throats.

So, when I was 15 I decided to read the Bible for myself... Full of absolute bullshit, written by guys of their time who had the biases and ignorance of their time. (Subservient women, no such thing as cave-men or dinosaurs, etc.) Aside from the proven scientific inaccuracies, also very little profound or spiritual about most of it. Which turned me off of Christianity for a very long time.

Well, I think I threw out the baby with the bathwater, so to speak, back then. While most of the Bible, and most of modern-day so-called Christians, are pretty ridiculous and shallow, there nonetheless remains some sort of inexplicable "core of energy"/life-force out there. An energy that has been completely warped by many of today's right-wing Christians. (I always think: If Jesus appeared on Earth today, being all pacific and non-judgmental and all, the idiot fascists would probably crucify him all over again. That's the tragedy. That, as a whole, we haven't learned anything in 2000 years.)

Oh, what was your original comment, Anonymous (brave "anonymous" soul that you are)? That I wasn't sincere? Au contraire. (Woops! Surely Jesus wouldn't have spoken French!) For the past year or so, while this major life change was going on for me, I have very much been asking/begging God for help. Sometimes I was hooked into the "force" and I've had an answer, sometimes not and I've been on my own. But in the main times, for sure God's been there. And it really has been miraculous. Which is why I posted the "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU" message earlier. (Memories of seeing "Thank you, Saint Jude" ads in the newspaper years ago!) I think the force, aside from being powerful, also needs to be fed with energy in return. Everything's cyclical and feeds upon itself. I wanted to say a big THANKS here in gratitude. Not much, but it was all I had to contribute at the time.