Monday, March 31, 2008

Letters to a Young Poet

Do not be bewildered by the surfaces; in the depths all becomes law. And those who live the secret wrong and badly (and they are very many), lose it only for themselves and still hand it on, like a sealed letter, without knowing it.


I'm 42, and until now I've never bought my own dishes or glasses. Everything's always been handed off to me. Back in Austin, where I lived for 20 years, I had one set of plastic turquoise 1960-dishes from my parents, then a stoneware set that my mom gave to me one Christmas sometime in the '90s. My drinking glasses were a combination of "Superfriends" glasses from my youth stolen from my mom, plus an 8-piece set that the roommate of my first girlfriend gave me for Christmas back in the late '80s.

Once I arrived in NYC in 2007, I didn't have to buy any dishware initially, since all of my 3 roommates were stocked up. Since I got my own place on February 1 of 2008, though, I had nothing! When I first moved in, I went to the local supermarket, which had plates on sale for 50 cents apiece... At the time, I bought one plate, one glass, one cheap set of flatware... (and I had one glass bowl bought upon my arrival, back from when I was at my first roommate's place, trying to proclaim my independence).

Long story short (!): I just bought some damn dishes for myself! The flatware was cheap, as were the glasses, but I liked that they all had the weird "bubble theme" in common. (For some reason, there were bubbles galore in the handles of the flatware and ONE bubble in the base of the glasses.) And then I was just in a Pier One a block away from my work, where the "Urban Dot" dishes were on sale. Dots, bubbles, yadda yadda. I'd always wanted something like the "Urban Dot" dishes, yet, truth be told, food looks kind of unappetizing when set upon those multicolored plates! :)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


Pretty soon this kind of thing will be completely drilled out of her, but in the meantime...What a brave, cute, original girl! ;p

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Geir Bjordal/Neil Maciejewski: CEASE AND DESIST

Public Notice regarding:
Geir Bjordal (aka "Julie Lindberg" of Norway);
Neil Maciejewski (of San Francisco):

Do not contact Stephanie Jones further online, whether through the Joan Crawford website ( or through the blog ( or through any other venue.

This is a public notice pursuant to a lawsuit filed in the State of New Jersey on March 21, 2008, by Stephanie D. Jones.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

A truth deeper and more ambiguous

From the 3/17 "New Yorker." The article was about magic and magicians in general, and I was reading along numbly and passively...And then this passage jerked me out of my numbness and passivity:

"...the empathetic interchange between minds is satisfying only when it is 'dynamic,' unfinished, unresolved. Friendships, flirtations, even love affairs depend, like magic tricks, on a constant exchange of incomplete but tantalizing information. We are always reducing the claim or raising the proof. The magician teaches us that romance lies in an unstable contest of minds that leaves us knowing it's a trick but not which one it is, and being impressed by the other person's ability to let the trickery go on. Frauds master our minds; magicians, like poets and lovers, engage them in a permanent maze of possibilities. The trick is to renew the possibilities, to keep them them from becoming schematized, to let them be imperfect, and the question between us is always "Who's the magician?" When we say that love is magic, we are telling a truth deeper, and more ambiguous, than we know."

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Surprise Surprise (Sweet Bird of Paradox)

I first heard this John Lennon song back when I was in high school, in the early '80s. It had come out in 1974. (From the 1974 album "Walls and Bridges.") I just put on the "Walls and Bridges" album right now, and cranked up "Surprise." Some lines have been in my head since I first heard them in '80:

"Sweet as the smell of success, her body's warm and wet
She gets me through this godawful loneliness..."

"Oh boy, you don't know what she do to me
She makes me sweat and forget who I am..."

"Well I was wondering how long this could go on, on and on,
I thought I could never be surprised,
But could it be that I bit my own tongue,
Oh yeah, it's so hard to swallow when you're wrong..."

"A bird of paradise,
The sunrise in her eyes,
God only knows such a sweet surprise,
I was blind she blew my mind, think that
I love, love, love, love, love her..."

Since I was 15, I have learned that Lennon was rather an asshole in his personal life, but I still love these beautiful, romantic lyrics. These will always be about any girl/woman I love.


Sweet as the smell of success,
Her body's warm and wet,
She gets me through this godawful loneliness,
A natural high, butterfly, oh I,
I need, need, need her.

Just like a willow tree,
A breath of spring you see,
And oh boy you don't know what she do to me,
She makes me sweat and forget who I am,
I need, need, need, need her.

A bird of paradise,
The sunrise in her eyes,
God only knows such a sweet surprise,
I was blind she blew my mind, think that
I love, love, love, love, love her,
I love her, I love her, I love her, I love her.

Sweet sweet, sweet sweet love.

Pre-conceived notions

Saturday at work I got into a heated argument with a native Austrian (who'd been in NYC for over 30 years). He was arguing with someone else in the room and came up with, "Hunters, they shoot everything first and ask questions later. They're all crazy. They're in the news all the time with people they've shot."

Now, I grew up in a hunting culture. I absolutely don't agree with hunting for pure sport (which is nothing but sadistic). I also don't think there's anything wrong with hunting if you eat the game. (That's a lot more sane---killing and eating your own meat---than passively eating the mass-killed meat we all find in grocery stores.)

This guy, though, knew nothing about hunting or guns and was just mouthing off a pre-conceived liberal notion about "guns = bad." He hadn't thought anything out. Hadn't thought out why anyone might personally want to own a gun. (If an intruder entered your home, would you rather be able to kill the fucker or be killed yourself? I absolutely don't begrudge anyone the right to shoot someone who's intruded into their home or tried to rape or kill them.)

While I'm anti-hunting, I found myself almost yelling at the guy: "That's bullshit. You're just spouting stuff you've soaked up from the Northeast Liberal culture. 99% of hunters don't have shooting accidents." I actually said "Northeast Liberal culture." Sigh. I think I was right, but I'm also embarrassed about my terminology.

My New Place

Back in Texas, when I saw a piece of furniture I liked in a store or at a garage sale, I could just buy it and cart in home in my car. Here in NJ/NY, I have no car at my disposal, and it's a much more difficult proposition getting stuff home. (Even a minor table that I saw out on the curb on trash pick-up day a couple of weeks ago, only two blocks from my house, I couldn't take, though I wanted to, because it was too heavy for me to carry that far.)

My first roommate's place was completely furnished, so I didn't have to worry about it. My second roommate: I took the subway to a Target in the Bronx and bought a cheap fake-wood computer desk and bookshelf and TV stand, which I had a cab haul home for about $12. My third roommate in Weehawken, NJ: I just needed something to sit/sleep on in my unfurnished room, so I got a futon delivered---very expensive, since the only futon store I knew of was in Manhattan, and they charged a bunch to deliver across state lines...

Now that I'm in my very first place on my own: This place is HUGE---a living room, big dining area, two bedrooms, plus a spare "half-bedroom." And I've got nothing to put in it! It's great for my imagination and future plans, but for the time being...

I already had the futon and a TV from my last roommate's place, which now sit in the living room. In the "dining room" once sat my cheap Target computer table and bookshelf... I also just bought a cheap mattress set for @ $200 from a discount furniture store a couple of blocks away, though I don't like to sleep on it in the back bedroom very much because the room is small and dreary. I've been sleeping in the front room, on the futon, with the beautiful windows and view... I just had delivered, though, a huge six-foot-long "farmer's table" from Pier One (on sale for $199), as well as Pier One bookshelf, on sale for $99. (Though there was the $100 delivery charge.) As it is, my apartment's now "functional," although it's not yet exactly how I'd like it to look... The structure is beautiful and the neighborhood is beautiful; it's just that I have to live up to, aesthetically, what I've moved into.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Super Tuesday 2

Oh god, the drama! And my bleeding-heart relatives in Texas! :) I was watching Texas/Ohio election results for hours tonight, then had to call home to Texas, knowing full well who everyone (Mom, brother, sis-in-law) was voting for---Obama. (My mom went to the caucus in San Antonio, where she was elected a delegate to the county convention. My brother was at the local caucus when I called, unable to leave after several hours because of the disorganization. My sister-in-law, whom I talked to when I called, said she'd hoped to get to the caucus herself after my brother came home...but it didn't look like he was coming home any time soon!

Sis wasn't/isn't a Hillary fan, mainly because she doesn't like her personality. As with my mom, I'm amazed by women who don't like Hillary. But I had this to offer my sis-in-law: Just think of the movie "Election." Remember how obnoxious the Reese Witherspoon character running for class president was? All of her overt trying-too-hard and campaigning? You started out hating her, but as the movie went on, started to realize that she really WAS the most qualified, and HAD worked the hardest, and didn't deserve the shaft she got! I think the movie "Election" is Hillary's campaign in a nutshell.

This just in from CNN as I write at 1:03am---Hillary wins TEXAS (!) as well as the earlier announced Ohio. Take THAT, obnoxious Chris Matthews from MSNBC! (Damn---I'm a lifelong Democrat, but listening to the anti-Clinton bias of Matthews, Keith Olbermann, and Joe Scarborough on MSNBC lately has made me nauseous. I'm switching to CNN.)