Thursday, April 03, 2008


I just "discovered" Calpernia Addams on the Logo network this month, in her show "TransAmerican Love Story" (in which a group of bachelors vie for her affections). After being initially annoyed that she couldn't have spelled "Calpernia" the right way ("Calpurnia" is the Roman name), I started getting into the show and liking it. It's near the end---only 3 guys left. Mike, the (seriously) dumb stud personal trainer; Jim, the female-to-male transsexual writer; Sean, the nerdy computer programmer who claims to be a "concert promoter." I like Sean the best, but he's un-sexy as hell. As is Jim. Before I learned that Jim was a FTM trans, I was watching him play clumsy, overly aggressive basketball, all the while proclaiming his immediate intense love for Calpernia. I thought, "What a bitchy little twerp." Ooops! I hadn't stopped to think, "U-Haul Lesbian!" Geez.

Calpernia's made out with Mike on the show and had a fun time hanging out with him in Vegas... The only problem is, while he's easy-going and sexy, he's also stoooooopid. Very stooopid. Though their chemistry is obvious. (Polls on the Logo network show that 43% think Jim is the best bet...I SERIOUSLY doubt that she would pick that little twerp!)

While watching one of the shows, Calpernia started crying because the boys were fighting over her, and she mentioned how she was a "psychic sponge" for everything around her... Oh, lordy. Normally, I would've thought that was ridiculous, then I thought, "Wait a second...She seems to be genuinely upset... Who else would be that upset but a Pisces?" Sure enough. I went to look her up on her website. Born on February 20. And on the show (which is supposed to be surfacely cheerful) she mentioned in passing, "Life with me would be like a roller coaster through a haunted carnival ride." LOVE that! Kind of like La Lindsay lying on the pavement with a pint in her hand, smiling... ;p


twilight singer said...

Be sure to checkout my blog for the inside dirt:

It's sexy as hell.

- Shawn from TLS


Beth Austin said...

Shawn, I feel TERRIBLE!

Aside from spelling your name wrong, I then called you "unsexy"... oh lordy.

Hey, in my defense, I DID say I liked you best, though... :)

Still, based on Calpernia's eyes lighting up, I'm still guessing that she'll choose dumb-guy Mike. Despite her friend's intelligent advice and the obviousness of Mike's dumbness... Calpernia (in her adolescent mode) seemed kind of boy-crazy in that way, focused on the sex thang...

I'll just have to see, I suppose!

Thanks for writing and for your link. (Sorry about your balls.)

twilight singer said...

no worries. i'm sexy in my own mind...

- s

Anonymous said...

Shawn wants in to your panties Steph

Beth Austin said...

Well, who doesn't?? (Just kidding, Shawn!) ;)