Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Feeling Blurry

I hate not having regular employment. Yes, I'm working, but it's almost completely random very-late-night temp stuff, combined with maybe 10 hours per week at a local newspaper. Both where I hardly speak to anyone for hours at a time. It's a very sporadic, weird existence, one where I hardly ever have to venture out in daylight hours, but only get carted around via limos after dark. And end up going to sleep at 7am or so, then waking up at 3pm. I'm a night-owl by nature, but this is all rather unpleasant and strange. I'm feeling pasty and sluggish and sun-deprived. I keep thinking about the Woody Allen movie "Deconstructing Harry," where, for some reason, the Robin Williams character discovers that he's all of a sudden become quite literally...BLURRY.

I feel blurry. Not literally, as in the movie, but something close. For example, I just walked to a fast-food place today, and when I ordered, I sounded, even to myself, like a mumbling idiot, and I had to repeat myself to the counter-girl. (How hard can it be to order a Quarter Pounder and McNuggets?) I'm in New York, the capital of communications, and I'm a very verbal person by nature, but... this night work and waking up at 3pm is making a slug out of me. I'm not happy like this. I'm going to do it as long as it takes, but still...it's psychologically hard.

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