Saturday, October 04, 2008

Not-so-clean Sweep

This afternoon I was in the grocery store shopping for fall gew-gaws and doo-dads like pumpkins and such, since the weather was so perfect and crisp and I was in the mood for making my apartment look and smell "fall and crisp." There was a mutedly colorful fall flower bouquet marked down from $9.99 to $3.99, which I snatched up. And a scented decorative pine broom in the $2.99 pile o' fall things... (Yeah, like hell. It turned out to actually be $5.99.)

While I was waiting in the checkout line with my delightful figurative cornucopeia o' fall delights, the aging male hippie in front of me started getting bored and looking around... He glanced back at me, then glanced at my pine broom. Then couldn't stop glancing the fuck back at the broom, to the point of finally sticking his face up against it to sniff it, at which point he had gone too far and was forced to acknowledge my human presence.

[nod]
[nod]
What is that exactly?
It's a broom.
A broom? What do you do with it?
I fly around on it.
[ha-ha look, then] No really.
Really, I fly around on it!
[blank look]
OK, I sweep my house with it.
[blank look] Do you really sweep your house with it?
No! Please. It's a SCENTED broom. It's fall. It smells like fall. You stick it in a corner of your house and it smells good and makes you think of fall.
Oh, OK.[a few beats of silence, then] I just asked 'cause a lady came to my door yesterday and asked to cut some of the herbs we had growing in front. I said "sure," and then she told me she was a witch. I don't know why she told me that. But my wife does like to burn incense in the house to make it smell good.
I hope you told the witch, Help yourself, lady!
[haw-haw]

Then, mutual chit-chat about "witches" and "household scents" and the holidays and the upcoming cold weather. At the end, I promised to "fly over" to visit him.

This kind of thing can be cute... or it can tire you the fuck out!

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