Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Kiki Meets Kervorkian: A Christmas Songbird

The company I work for had a huge Christmas luncheon today, and for entertainment while we ate was an ancient 80-something Dr. Kervorkian-lookalike in an undertaker's suit hunched over a tiny keyboard and belting out the Christmas tunes! The man was so into it that I constantly had to stop eating and just watch him in action! (All the while ecstatically fearful that he'd jump up and start singing to individual tables.) Occasionally, he'd even pick up a trumpet and play that, while still playing the keyboard with his other hand! The best part was his vocals, though, which sounded an awful lot like Kiki's (of "Kiki and Herb"---see video below). And his interpretation of some of the Christmas songs...A sample lyric of his from "Winter Wonderland":

We'll walk unabashed
while we get smashed
walkin' in a winter wonderland!

I'm sorry, but at that, I started laughing so hard that people at other tables were staring at me. I laughed so hard that I cried and had to cover my face. Every time I thought I'd calmed down some, he'd toss something else like that into the mix, and I'd start all over again. (By this time he'd noticed me and my reaction---since I was sitting at the table closest to him!---and started grinning and winking at me, which of course set me off even more.)

Then my boss and I noticed a wedding-ring on his finger, so my boss launches into a spiel, pretending to be his wife at home while he's practicing his act: "Edgar! Enough with the Christmas songs!! Yer driving me crazeeeee!!! Would ya come eat your dinner!!!!" (When I mused aloud about how I wished I'd worn a red-velvet prom dress to lunch so I could lie across his keyboard, an earnest co-worker said, "Do you really still have your prom dress?")

Oh...my...god. Now I'm obsessed with him. I'm going to the Human Resources Dept. tomorrow to find out who he is and where the hell they found him. I wonder: Did he used to play Atlantic City 50 years ago? Does he spend all year practicing his Christmas tunes? Does he get other gigs? Does he have a CD out that I can buy? Any publicity photos available? I'll let you know what I find out!


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