Saturday, April 11, 2009

Death watch for my cat Gracie

Grace has been sick since January 11. I marked it on my calendar. She'd be wobbly and not eating for a week or so, then snap back. This went on for a couple of months.

As of mid-March, she's been on a steady decline, no "snapping back." She won't eat. I've been buying "people" tuna, and cans of sardines to try to feed her. And the highest-end cat food. She'll take a bite or two, then nothing. She's wasting away. She can barely walk. Her whole left side and paws are swollen up; she drags herself around the apartment, from her new sleeping place behind the TV, to my sweater on the floor in the spare room, to the kitchen where her food is.

It broke my heart last night when I went to sleep on the sofa and she tried to jump up with me, as she always had before. No way she could make it. I stroked her and told her I was so sorry... She's still got her habits. She still wants to sleep next to me. She still meows/croaks in the morning when my alarm goes off. She still tries to act excited when I get home from work, though she doesn't eat the food she used to be excited about getting.

I don't know what to do. Well, yes, I guess I do. Pet her while I can, and then I've got to adjust myself, plan on where to take her to get cremated. (In Texas, I could just bury her in my backyard.)

10 years with this cat. My best friend, who came to New York from Texas with me.

"eyes once the color of spring leaves
now black, death-dilated"

I am so sad.

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