Monday, April 13, 2009

Joel Osteen Saved My Life!


OK, noooooo he di'int! (If Joel Osteen ever actually saves my life, please just shoot me!)

However: I was feeling so low late Sunday night that I actually did start paying attention to what televangelist Osteen had to say! Now, I didn't go to bed with him on, but when I woke up in the wee hours, he was on whatever channel I'd left on the TV, and I did start listening...

What I learned was: I'm not "buried." I'm "planted." I may currently feel like I'm dead and buried (kind of like Osteen's daughter's pet rabbit), but in reality, I'm like the seed under the packed, dark, trodden-on soil, just waiting to blossom.

You know, usually I would have laughed at the corniness of that analogy. But on Sunday night, I was very much in the mood for someone, anyone to say something positive. And it wasn't totally bullshit. The concept does have its possibilities. Thanks, Joel Osteen. Despite your cheesy, glossy mullet and cheesier mean, flight-attendant-fighting blonde wife, you actually helped me a bit! (Not "SAVED MY LIFE" mind you, but..."helped me a bit.") :)

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