Friday, July 17, 2009

No More Tears

I gotta get back on track. For real.

I moved to NYC in February 2007. Despite all the roommate problems and job problems and the incredible stress of being in a new huge city, I don't think I cried ONCE between February 2007 and November 2008. Nearly two years. The latter date is when I first started communicating long-distance with Sandra.

I am sick of this crying bullshit. Constantly. I've been in contact with Sandra off and on for the past 9 months now, and I've been crying constantly. It's not funny or dramatic or special or anything. It's just wasteful. A waste of tears and emotion. A drain on the energy I very much need to make my way here in NYC, and find a fucking job.

I've been so into the Internet since 2000 that I have taken these cyber-people seriously. First Julie, for a long, way-too-long time. Now Sandra, falling into the exact same pattern, despite the fact that we actually knew each other in person years ago. All of it is such utter, depressing, phony bullshit.

2 comments:

Bull Jones said...

I pretty much walked away from my blog, my online friends, all of it some time back. Just got tired of the ghostly elusiveness of it all.

Sometimes you just need to see and feel real human flesh. Were it not for my wife I may have gone completely mad.

The tears will soon cease. Life will straighten itself out, it always does. Meanwhile, enjoy some time away from the web. "Webs", after all, are meant to capture living things. Be free!

I wish you well!

Beth Austin said...

Thanks, Bull! Nice of you to say. Now...if I can just get me a wife... :)

(That's the thing: I'm single. And having moved to a strange town, I still don't have close friends here. So the Internet has been some form of companionship.)