Sunday, June 27, 2010

Wherever you are, you are here

If I could see you now...

...I'd try to make you sad somehow...

This John Lennon song is the only where I've heard the guilt of being such a shit...

The Poor Girl's Entertainment Center

Dig this shot from my new apartment! State of the Art, circa 1999! :)

I've been doing the best I can to set up my new $545-a-month apartment with no steady job and little money: In this picture: The 2 shelves were $12 apiece from the closest "Family Dollar" store. The TV ('99 Samsung) was $20 from a woman on Craig's List. The TV table is a cast-off from my mom. The DVD player/boom-box (do they still call them that??) I bought when I was in NY and had them shipped back.

According to my mom, this Friday I was "spending like a sailor on shore leave." I need stuff for my apartment, have a little bit of money coming in from my freelance work... What the fuck is extravagant about the below?

I just checked all of my receipts: $261.10. And here's what I got for my $261.10 this past Friday:

A printer/fax/scanner from Best Buy (with cable, ink cartridge)
A pillow, dish rack, 2 bookcases, Comet, Raid, hooks, Post-its, toilet paper from Family Dollar
A basket and bathroom rug from Marshall's
A comforter, set of sheets, bath mat, beach towel, towel set from Ross.

How fucking extravagant and "sailor-like" of me! I'm just so darn wild-n-crazy when it comes to buying dish-racks, et al! :0

Saturday, June 26, 2010

"I'm 93, you're 16..."

This KISS album has a lot of connotations for me. It came out in '74, but I didn't discover it until '77 or so, after the success of "Double Platinum" sent me on a KISS album-buying binge.

My parents had just divorced. Dad was living in a cheap Fort Worth apartment, and we kids were visiting him on weekends, when he'd take us to the closest mall and buy us a present, just for something to do.

While with him at the mall, I begged for this KISS album... When I took it home (to Mom) with me, she was quick to notice the naked ladies on the back cover and gripe at my dad for that. Then there was the lecture about "not having to buy our love," as well! ;p (Jesus. A $7.99 album is just a NICE, not a "love-purchasing," thing! And the naked floozies on the back cover were just interesting things to see for the first time! Give us all a break, Ma!) :)

This whole album turned out to be good -- dark and murky and interesting to listen to over and over again. I was especially fascinated by this song here, "Goin' Blind" -- Gene's 93-year-old persona singing of his love for a 16-year-old... At the time, at age 12, I still considered KISS to be the most decadent of bands, sure that if I listened carefully, I'd find out about some of life's forbidden mysteries...

On a BCR kick!

They get a bad rap for being "merely" a "teeny-bopper" band. But...they were something weird and interesting unto themselves! (The lead singer, Les, was my second-favorite -- guitarist Eric was my love; but... Now that I'm watching this at age 44, not 14... Les is the hottest, despite his bad teeth!)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Bay City Rollers (1975)

The first band that I ever loved. And their first big European hit.

New Place News

Only 2 more nights of sleeping on that crappy green fold-out chair (pictured)! I will celebrate the one-week anniversary of my new one-room apartment by having a bed delivered, finally. (I waited this long because I dreaded having to take a bus to some damn out-of-the-way mattress place... Then I figgered out: There's such a thing as THE INTERNET, dummy! Where one can... ORDER THINGS ONLINE! Doh.)

My mattress set-to-be goes by the whimsical moniker of "Kids Delux." (No, it doesn't have pictures of airplanes or Holly Hobby on it. And it is a full, not a twin or bunk-bed!) And total price, including metal frame and delivery, will be around $250 -- a bargain!

After the bed, my immediate needs include only one chair (maybe with ottoman) for under $100 -- I'll check Craig's List for something cheap-but-interesting/vintage. And check Craig's List also for a cheap delivery guy. Aside from the chair, I need a printer/fax machine -- I think the Best Buy near my mom's house has these for under $150.(Thank goodness for all of the freelance work I've been getting over the past few weeks! Mainly from a publishing co. I used to work for back East -- the irony. When all my paychecks come in, I'll have rent paid up through October, plus plenty left over for bills and cheap furniture.)

After that, I'm pretty much situated. Things will only need tweaking then: one more chair, or possibly a love-seat. An entertainment center/hutch for the TV/DVD player. A small bookshelf for my DVDs/CDs. A coffee table or 2 end tables. Two cheap/cool vintage lamps from eBay, Craig's List, and/or local yard sales. Oh, and a HUGE framed photograph of the NYC skyline that I saw on an online art print shop. (Just to torture myself! Ah, the days when I could step out of my apartment and walk 3 minutes to the Hudson and gaze upon that gorgeousness in person! I do indeed miss that $1500 apartment's grand location! Not so much the size -- I'm actually relatively content in a one-room apartment -- but that location... the beauty of not just the NYC view but also the turn-of-the-century quaint apartment buildings and the Northeastern flora... I miss Weehawken!) :)

Speaking of walking (I sold my car when I moved to NY and, being jobless, can't afford a new one): Texas ain't set up for it. It's deathly hot. There aren't shops on every block. (In my neighborhood -- touted as an up-and-coming "hipster" area, and where I lived for 6 years before moving to NY -- a couple of small theaters, several restaurants, and a beer-store or two.) Buses come infrequently and not always according to schedule. People look at you, the sad, wilted walker, with pity. Up north I used to walk several miles a day with no problem. Here, I tried waiting at a bus stop to go to the supermarket 2 miles away... within minutes, my makeup was melted and my hair was nearly sopping wet. After 20 minutes, I just gave up waiting and schlepped myself back home. (Luckily, my mother took me grocery shopping when I moved to my new place, so I wasn't desperate for anything... But still. It's going to be a pain in the ass just to go to my bank or to the drug-store for work-supplies, or to get a few grocery items. Sigh. Did I say already that I miss Weehawken?! Big grocery store, post office, bank -- all a 5-minute walk. Drug store -- 10 minutes. Bus stop into NYC -- across the street. Time into NYC -- 15 minutes. OK, OK... No use torturing myself! But... dammit. And in a few months it's going to be fall there without me...)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Books, the Motherfuckers

Books are a pain in the ass to haul around, that's for sure. And they're also a pain in the ass when you have billions of 'em to try to fit in to a one-room apartment. They're also definitive, though. When I moved to NYC in 2007, I asked my mom to mail me what I thought were the "essentials": all of my Joan stuff, all of my reference books (for work purposes), the books that had something to do with NYC (Lennon, Salinger, Frank O'Hara). (Only a couple of shelves' worth. And then I bought more while I was there, 11 or 12 books just about NYC, mainly purchased from the Strand bookstore. All of which I had to ship back home at the end of March.) I missed the rest of them a lot. I didn't feel like myself without ALL of my books around me.

Now that I'm back in Austin, out of my Mom's place, and into my own place... it's nice to be reunited with all the "other" books that have been in storage in my mom's garage for the past 3 years. Luckily this one-room apartment has some built-in shelves (one of the things that made me like it). I bought a cheap Target fake-wood bookcase to house some of the books, too. Between the built-in shelves and the cheapo shelf, all of the books are nearly situated...

A home's a home when you have: a cat, plants, candles, your books/music... So far, I've got all of my books and music, plus candles, at least!

Friday, June 18, 2010

What's Important

Who gives a shit what woman likes you or doesn't like you at the moment.

Ted Hughes liked my poetry.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

blank, blank verse

On my mother's porch
the neighbor's chimes
sound like my own phone ringing

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Some days we just feel like this.

(Joan Crawford, 1968, filling in for her daughter Christina on CBS's soap "The Secret Storm." Christina's character was 28.)

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Round here...

...we talk like lions
but we sacrifice like lambs.

Round here
she's always on my mind.

Round here
we stay up very, very, very, very late.........! :) :)

Sunday, June 06, 2010

My wish

I want to stop saying things on the Internet. I want to say things just to her.

Apologies for my dissing "Blue" in 1993

Krzysztof Kieslowski's film "Blue" is sad and thoughtful and gorgeous. When I first saw it at the theater in 1993, I dismissed it as "boring." Specifically, I remember telling friends afterwards: "It was so dull, when I reached down for my popcorn at the end of the film, and then looked up, the film was over, and I hadn't realized it..."

What was I thinking in 1993? I was 28 then. I thought I'd suffered plenty. Perhaps I hadn't yet suffered enough at the time to enable me to fully appreciate the film.

I just watched it last night for the second time, and found it sad and beautiful and very far from boring...

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Kick Ass

There are two things I really kick ass at: my Joan Crawford website and my copy editing skills. (Ha! If I were such a kick-ass copy editor, I would've written: "There are two things at which I really kick ass"!) :)

I'm serious, though. There is not a better celebrity website than mine. And, after 3 years in NYC, I never came across anyone who was a better copy editor, or anyone who was even as good. (Mind you, I -- obviously -- never worked for The New Yorker! I guess those folks are the cream of the copy editing crop. But... after 3 months at The New Yorker, I would've definitely been up to speed with the best in-house copy editors there. The temp places where I did work: a major financial company, major educational publisher, major newspaper, major law firms -- my work was better than anyone else's that I saw.)

What brings on this gust of gumption after months of feeling like shit all the way around? Just took an electronic copy editing test. And was catching tricky thing after tricky thing until I started feeling cocky: "Bring it on! You can't hide that! Come on. Is that all you got?" I really knew my stuff. It felt so goddamn good to just ACE something after months and months of floundering around on all fronts.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Late-night radio

Desperate for any sort of media stimulation since my mom won't allow TV-watching in her home after 10pm... I discovered the above syndicated "Coast to Coast" radio program, which airs from midnight to 4am. Really interesting to me...I can lie there for hours in the dark and just contemplate what they're talking about: UFOs, Mayan calendar 2012, radio signals from other galaxies, synchronicity, communications from the dead... It's really the perfect thing from midnight to 4am...