Monday, October 11, 2010
After 6 months away, I keep thinking about and seeing and smelling the place. I liked so much about it. Especially the trees and how they looked. And the walk along the Hudson and the view of the Manhattan skyline. And my slice-and-a-salad once or twice a week, from a pizza shop where the boys wore their hair gelled and upswept long before the rest of America ever saw "Jersey Shore."
I'm a lonely, and alone, person by nature. In Austin, my home since '83, my internal loneliness was/is hardly ever assuaged by my outer surroundings. When I lived in Weehawken, working in Manhattan, I might have been personally depressed while sitting around the house (no job, no love life), but the second I stepped out of the door, I almost always felt invigorated, excited about how pretty and/or grand things looked around me. I forgot my self and my problems and was amazed and interested and blatantly thankful.
Not just a case of being in a new place -- when I lived in San Francisco for 2 years in the '90s, the physical beauty of the place did nothing to overcome the shallowness/dullness/PC-ness of the town's occupants, or the hideous two-note weather. Living there, I couldn't wait to get back to Austin.
Weehawken/NYC are a completely different phenomenon...I immediately felt at home there -- aesthetically, historically, climatalogically (all 4 seasons), psychologically (down-to-earth, but merit-based, and with an admiration for glamour), organizationally (public transit, nearby shops), what-have-you. What/how it was pleased me, my psyche in many ways.
Mostly, tonight, I'm missing the fall (soon-to-be-winter) trees. I'm homesick as hell.