Monday, October 11, 2010

The Worst Lamp Ever

For years, I've always mocked this lamp when it used to sit as a fixture in my mother's living room. There's the hideous shade, the hideous fluted faux wood, and, to make matters worst of all, the fact that the on/off-switch no longer works: You have to physically plug/un-plug it each time. All the way around, it's a stupid lamp. And, boy, did I let my mother know it! (Lest you think me ogre-like: The woman's not poor. If she had been poor and could not afford any other light fixture, I of course wouldn't have criticized!)

End of ironic story: The ugly sonuvabitchin' lamp is now the sole source of independent light in my one-room apartment! (There are built-in track lights, and kitchen/bathroom lights, but this is the only living-room light.) Thank you for the light when I need it, yet... Damn You, Ugly Lamp! I hope you and your other mom-cast-off cohorts -- the white kitchen table, the 1970s TV table, the green fold-out chair -- are having fun while it lasts. (And the fun may be over soon -- I just bid, eBay, on a COOL vintage 1950s lamp for $17.99 + $8 shipping... It will be a pleasure and relief when my surroundings begin to mirror my tastes once again and I'm not forced to live among, and be grateful for, purely utilitarian, unaesthetic things...)

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