Sunday, November 21, 2010
LeSueur Baby Peas are a few of my favorite things...
My mother called me today to ask what time I wanted her to pick me up on Thursday, Thanksgiving, the feast being held at her house. (She lives 2 miles away; I don't have a car.)
Mom: "The Game [Cowboys, of course] starts at 3, so your brother will be over before then..."
Me: "Well, just fetch me before the game. Any time. I don't care."
Mom: "I know you like to sleep late..."
Me: "MA! ANY TIME! Well, any time after noon. Between noon and three."
Mom: "I'll be cooking before 3..."
Me: "MA! Any time that you're not cooking between noon and three."
That settled, I had to make sure of two things very important in order for me to be truly Thankful at Thanksgiving: Canned cranberry sauce. And canned LeSueur baby peas. I was myself just at the grocery store earlier this week, but I forgot about getting them. And, sans car, it's a hassle for me to go back. So I had to make sure... Seriously, there's been a Thanksgiving or two where no one remembered these important canned goods, and I had to eat weird home-made, chunky cranberry "anti-sauce" and "green-bean casserole" or something. No more of that craziness!
Me: "Did you get the canned cranberry sauce and the LeSueur baby peas?"
Mom: "Yes, of course I remembered your cranberry sauce. But are you sure you still like those peas? I heated up a can for the boys [little nephews] earlier, and they wouldn't eat them. But when I made them some frozen peas, they loved..."
Me: "MAAAAAA! LeSUEUR BABY PEAS! Those boys have weird tastes in food. I don't care what they like. No frozen peas! LeSUEUR BABY PEAS! It's Thanksgiving!"
Mom: "When you get here, you better just appreciate what's on the table."
Me: "Are you going to have turkey?"
Me: "Are you going to have mashed potatoes?"
Me: "All I want are 4 things at Thanksgiving: turkey, mashed potatoes, my cranberry sauce, and my LeSueur baby peas! And I'll appreciate all of them!"
Mom: "OK, OK."
Flashed me back to the only Thanksgiving dinner that my first girlfriend and I shared together, back in '89 or '90 or something. We went shopping together for all the food (I was impressed that she -- Miss Club Queen -- actually knew how to cook a turkey!). But when we got back out to the supermarket parking lot, I realized that we'd forgotten... you guessed it -- the LeSUEUR BABY PEAS! It was only a day or so before Thanksgiving, and the store was a madhouse. We'd already suffered through crowds and long check-out lines. The sane thing to do would be just to go on home, sans peas. My ex insisted on doing just that. I tried to be calm and explain it to her, but she refused to see reason. At which point I had to start yelling at her: "I'm not getting in this car and we're not having a Thanksgiving unless we go back in for the LeSUEUR BABY PEAS!" People in the parking lot stared. My ex stared. We, not speaking then or for hours later, went back into the store for the goddamn peas.
I'm serious -- those peas make a Thanksgiving! :) Why? They are very small and firm -- non-mushy like other canned peas -- and tasty, and they mix perfectly with the mashed potatoes when you have a big forkful of mashed potatoes and then squush it into the peas and lift up the forkful and eat them all mixed together. It's just very satisfying!
Oh, and Joan Crawford's real name is "Lucille LeSueur" -- but that, of course, is just a weird side-note! ;p