From a boy I barely knew back in high school, who friended me a year or two ago on Facebook. We both graduated in '83. He's been married for something like over 20 years now, 6 kids. (Though, to avoid complete corniness, I remember him mainly because, on a high school bus trip to and from a UIL competition, he and a girl 6 inches taller than he was made out on the bus under a blanket the whole time each way. They had the blankets over just their laps and tried to keep straight faces above... and everyone kept peering over the seats to see what was going on! And those two could not stop what they were doing, despite their embarrassment at everyone watching. It was bizarrely hilarious for the rest of us.)
That said, and Despite his Dis of Doris Day (and despite my laughing at the blanket memories of the high school bus), I do agree with what he just posted on Facebook regarding his wife [all sic]:
"Love is a choice, its not a feeling its a commitment. Doris Day was wrong its not whatever will be will be. It takes work from both sides. You cant be in love one day and not the next, thats just not how it works. Thank you D----- for always being willing to work with me and for me."
High points are for clubs, for drink/drugs, for bus sex, for Internet "romances." The casual "Whatever will be will be" is for shallow people who like it that way, who have given up, who aren't willing to stick around for the whole ride, which consists of far more than just the high points. "You cant be in love one day and not the next, thats just not how it works."
Randomness -- que sera sera -- IS how the whole universe works, for sure. But the antithesis is the whole point of marriage and commitment, and of being a human being with will -- to bravely, stupidly bravely and beautifully, attempt to defy the randomness of the universe and forge some sort of order out of the eternal, ongoing chaos.