Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Personal Grooming's a Bitch!

Working at home, I haven't really been going much of anywhere in public for a couple of months or so, aside from the supermarket, beer store, nearby restaurants for take-out, Mom's house. So today when I actually had to go to a place (the hairdresser!) where it's, for me, desirable to put on makeup and something other than sweatpants, I was a bit shocked to discover the extent of the deterioration in my personal grooming! Obviously, since it was time for the hairdresser, the hair didn't look so good. Not just grown out, but also about 3 inches of darker roots; I've been too "uninspired" -- aka "lazy" -- to color it. And then I started to look around at other areas: My eyebrows, which I'm usually obsessive about, had scragglies everywhere. My fingernails and toenails were all slightly raggedy. My teeth looked yellowish (sometimes after I stay up late drinking and smoking, I just go straight to bed and don't brush). My skin was dry (sometimes lately I haven't felt like moisturizing my body after a shower or my hands before bed, though I always moisturize my face after I wash it -- IF I wash it! See the above about just falling into bed after staying up all night). I also hadn't kept up the shaving of legs, et al. (trying to avoid TMI here). Raggedy Ann!

So, in honor of going someplace, I did manage to get my act together enough to pluck the eyebrows, shape all the nails, shave the legs, fully moisturize, etc. It's amazing how pleasant you feel after taking the time to do just that minor stuff. In the next couple of days, I'm also going to finally color the hair. And invest in some much-needed White Strips.

Longer-term... When I was at my mom's house last week, I weighed myself for the first time in months... I'm up to 150! I think I was at 138 or so when I left NYC last March. At 5'8", wearing a size 10 and in much better shape tone-wise because of all the walking (and carrying bags) I did there. Here in Austin, I often sit on my ass all day or lie in bed all day! I've tried to make myself have a mild fitness routine of briskly walking for 2 miles (1/2-hour) at least 3 or 4 times a week. Surprisingly, I usually DO manage that, but every now and then a whole week will go by with very little activity. I'm slowly creeping up to a size 12, the idea of which I personally hate. Not hate for other people, just for myself. I look and feel best, at least 3 times better, when I'm under 140. And when I pluck. And shave. And brush. And color. And clip.

I can't do things right now (because of money) like getting a regular professional pedi, getting professional coloring (hair and teeth), and buying a lot of new clothes to replace my years-old shabbies, but I indeed CAN do the smaller things like WALK and PLUCK regularly, fer chrissakes! Gawd, imagine being a Beverly Hills Housewife and all the Keeping Up THAT entails... It really is WORK.

Though there are several Xpensive "Xtreme Upkeep" things I find Xtremely nonsensical (the physical equivalent of Twitter): Hair Xtensions and Botox and badly capped teeth/bad facelifts/bad boob jobs/bad nose jobs. Botox -- I've known 3 real-life women who have had it done, and I honestly didn't notice any difference in their appearance. Hair extensions -- always terrible, unless you want to look like a stripper or like you're from a NYC borough or inland New Jersey. All the other bads -- Imagine... Michael Jackson had all the money in the world, and yet still had the worst nose-job(s) ever. When something like that goes wrong, you're usually stuck with it

PICTURED: FRESHLY PLUCKED (Sorry -- no other after-hair-removal pictures available.)

No comments: