POSTED ON FACEBOOK -- by a "Friend," NOT ME! -- about the death of his cat, followed by an exchange starting with me:
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
ME: ...Are you kidding with this "Rainbow Bridge/Special Friend" stuff? Hey, I loved my cat Gracie A LOT and was VERY upset when she died after 10 years... but the above is pretty creepy, a la Baptists mourning for Jesus to this day.
MC: No I'm not kidding Stephanie, and at this point you are just becoming obnoxious with your constant negative comments on everything....I can see why at this point we have no more mutual friends.....ugh, get a life!
ME: The below that you wrote [referring to the whole "Rainbow Bridge" passage] is one of the most fake, false things I've ever read. I've loved some pets deeply, and the below doesn't do them any justice at all --- It's like some Southern Baptist preacher wrote it.
SLL: MC, who ever this person Stephanie is, I wish you would block her from writing on your wall. Clearly, she's not a nice person.
ME: SLL: OMG! Because I said our dead pets are not frolicking after death in a place called Rainbow Bridge with happy kisses raining upon our faces?? What's next? We humans are going to Heaven to play harps with angels? Come on.
MC: steph....i feel sorry for you at this point....i'm sure most people are seeing you the way sharon and myself see you at this point...you just like arguing, that's something i've come to realize....sometimes you need to know when to shut it. i'm sorry this post had to be ruined by your insensitivity.
ME: I remain amazed: You guys REALLY think there is such a thing as "Rainbow Bridge" where dead pets and their former owners frolic and exchange kisses? Seriously? I feel like I'm going crazy right now. I am not "insensitive" in the least. I've mourned pets deeply. But just not in this weird "I'm going to frolic with you later" way. That is really bizarre to me.
Am I fucking crazy?????? Seriously, half the time, Facebook people make me think as if I am fucking mad. There's no Rainbow Bridge! There's no Big Jesus in the Sky! Barack Obama isn't the Savior (my old Austin/NYC left-wing acquaintances). Barack Obama isn't the Devil (my old right-wing high-school acquaintances). I want to stop relying just on books and turn to real people for communication... but... REAL PEOPLE ARE FUCKING CRAZY and, WORSE, they're STUPID!!! (Give me crazy over stupid any day!)
I'm frigging serious... On Facebook, if you don't sit there and give kudos to every dumb-ass post, then you (well, maybe just I) get shit like, "get a life, you're obnoxious, I feel sorry for you" ----- WHY do people feel sorry for ME???? :) Because I say straight out that there's no frigging "Rainbow Bridge"????? What in the world are people wanting? (Well, I know what they're wanting: "Tiger loved you. You will see Tiger one day soon on Rainbow Bridge." Oh dear god. I just figured out what Sandra wanted me to say to her: "Jim loved you. You will see Jim one day soon on Rainbow Bridge." If I don't tell the truth, I get points for sympathy. If I tell the truth straight out, I get hated for telling the truth.)
I live in a land --- both real and virtual --- of total Zombies.