Friday, April 13, 2012

Now Playing: Hunky Dory

The CDs I've been ordering, used, from eBay, have been arriving by the mailboxfull. I meant to take a picture of all of them (20 or more), but I got too excited about reorganizing my whole CD collection, fitting all of the new ones in, that I'd filed every new thing away before remembering to take a mass photo...

I had so many gaps to fill in... Stuff that I remembered from a particular time in my life, but that was also GOOD and interesting to listen to, apart from just being nostalgia.

I've pointedly decided against re-buying stuff that I used to sit around and mope/weep to... Pink Floyd, for one. Profound (to me) as "The Wall" is, both film and album, I really don't want to re-live the trauma of the losing-Ginny-feelings it stirs up, me huddling in a tiny dorm room in 1984, trying not to wake my roommate while writing out "Wall" lyrics at 3am and psychologically suffering right along with every track of the album... Similarly, while I also think Depeche Mode's "Violator" is great, as is Concrete Blonde's "Bloodletting," both of those albums conjure up nothing but specific pain and isolation from the Summer of '90... obsessing over losing my first lover while in a generic mass-apartment while my best friends were in Europe for the summer... no one to talk to, nothing to do but go to work, come home... listen to Depeche Mode and Concrete Blonde... and write out Depeche Mode and Concrete Blonde lyrics! :) Jesus. (My own personal hell of one.)

Bowie, on the other hand, is a little different. He's kinda first-lover-M. associated. When we first started seeing each other in the Spring of '89 (but before we moved in together), I learned that she was really into him, so I went to a used record store to get most of his collection (at a dollar or so a pop). I wanted to know (what I thought was) how her psyche worked... Turned out "her psyche" didn't really work at all -- she just liked Bowie because of his sexual gender-bending image when she was coming of age in the '70s, and didn't really know his music that well, aside from the famous "Ziggy Stardust" album. But I ended up getting into him... for his music! I don't know that I'd buy EVERYTHING again, but for now I've re-purchased "Ziggy" and "Hunky Dory." In the future, I would like to also have again "Space Oddity," "Station to Station," "Lodger," and "Scary Monsters." (And NOT "Let's Dance," which was so huge my freshman year of college, 1983 -- not horrible, but not particularly soulful either; just an attempt at having hits... My "Changes" Greatest Hits covers everything I need from that album.)

What's the point of all this re-collecting of albums/CDs? Not just trying to reminisce. I think I miss listening to and thinking about music. I sold off most of my collection before I moved to NYC in 2007. Since moving back home in 2010, I've been extremely tense... annoyed at neighbors for blasting their music, and so not wanting to be hypocritical and play my own, I suppose... But me playing my own at a volume of 2 isn't the same as their playing theirs at a 10... I'm "allowed" to listen to my music... Re-buying my former collection is, I guess, my way of "allowing" myself to enjoy music again, rather than just coming home and turning on the TV for background noise while I'm doing stuff on the computer to pass the time. I think that I don't just want to "pass the time" any more.

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