I'm so glad my apartment management's calendar stuck in my door earlier this week reminded me about this Sunday:
"Be sure to find your mom and tell them how much you appreciate all they do for you on this special occasion."
(1) Be sure to FIND my mom? What, are they assuming that my mother is either a world-traveling diplomat or actress, or else a crack-whore, who's been wandering around various streets/cities/countries and is usually unlocatable unless I try especially hard on this day?
(2) Tell THEM how much I appreciate? What, are they assuming that I was raised in a lesbian home and therefore "have two mommies"?
(3) All they do for me on this special occasion? So now "Mother's Day" is a day for moms to do stuff for their kids?
The above extremely crappy control of the English language is why anyone who releases any text to the public needs a copy editor.
p.s. The above calendar entry should have read: "On this special occasion, be sure to tell your mom how much you appreciate all she does for you." (Now, will someone out there please recognize my brilliant copy-editing skills and hire me permanently?) :)