Saturday, May 05, 2012

"Solid Goals"

My horoscope for May 5:

"It may be time to take a look at where you are in life, STEPHANIE. Are you where you thought you would be? If you are, congratulations - this is a real accomplishment. If not, take heart - many discover at one point or another that they're not anywhere close. The key is to have solid goals written down. The steps that have to be made to reach them should also be on paper so that you have a guide. It is your life after all and mapping out your route is up to you."

All well and good, but... DUH! Of COURSE I'm not where I thought I would be in life! :) Nor have I just now discovered that I'm not anywhere close! Please! :)

I've had fallow periods in my life, for sure, but I've always attempted to jolt myself out of them by DOING something. Moving to San Francisco in '94, for one thing. Moving to NYC in 2007, for another. Those moves, aside from my being intellectually interested in the cities themselves, also had specific goals: San Fran, to go to grad school; NYC, to try to find a publishing job NOT in the educational field (which I'd been mired in/non-inspired by in Austin).

Got my MA in SF; failed to break into any NYC publishing house. But, hey, re the latter, at least I TRIED. So I don't feel that I have to "take heart," as the above horoscope condescends.

For the record, at 46, my life goals are now:

4 screenplays (1 finished already)
2 published poetry collections (no "mentors," just merit; I've had 7 individual poems published in small national mags already)
A house of my own
Travel to Germany (my family's homes, plus Berlin because it's Berlin)
Travel to England (London, for historical purposes; Devon, for Hughes/Plath purposes; Liverpool, for Beatles purposes)
Travel to the Egyptian pyramids
Travel to New England (Sexton/Plath/Dickinson + crisp fall air and pretty leaves)
Travel to Civil War sites (and Elvis's home)

Of course I'd like to have a lover during all of this, but... you can't control that at all. I'm not going to go out and be with someone just for the sake of "having someone" or "having someone to pay for me." If I get to Germany, England, Egypt, New England, and the South, it'll be because I made it happen for myself. (Nicer, though, to have someone to talk to!) :)

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