Monday, January 21, 2013

Moment of Clarity (Snake)

Back in '93, when I was "dating" a married man (the first and only time), we were talking intimately and I asked why he and his first wife of 20 years had divorced (he was then on his 2nd). He told me about having to fly across country for business to a place that he and his first wife had once visited, and loved, together in their early years. When she learned where he was going, she begged to go with him. He refused. He didn't know why he refused, and continued to refuse, even after he saw his wife crying over his going without her. He ended up sleeping with a stewardess during that weekend. When he got home, his wife ended it. Not because he'd slept with a stewardess--he'd been sleeping with other people for a long, long time--but because he did not want to be in their special city together. He couldn't even make THAT minor effort at the relationship any more. (He got off on telling me about the stewardess he met on the plane--I suppose he equated me with her and thought I'd relate--while I was paying much more attention to the story of his wife's ultimate breaking point.)

I think the Moment of Clarity comes when you step back and stop fighting: When you simply let the Snake be a Snake and let go of it.

When you try to engage with Snake emotionally or morally or intellectually, you drag yourself down to Snake's level and then feel guilty for the mean things you've said in response to its very core of Wrongness...when in fact, you haven't done anything at all other than logically call Snake on its own psychosis (which it loves to talk about at least 3 times a week to someone PAID for listening, as are the hookers who get paid for putting up with people's PHYSICAL shit; interesting how psychiatrists get paid so much more...).

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