Friday, March 22, 2013

Bowling for Bullies

I was in a car with my nephews after school today, and the 11-year-old was eager to tell about a YouTube video he'd just seen at school.

(I sound completely mean below but, I swear to god, the kid was laughing the whole time and I was playing off his reaction! He was torn: His Mama wanting him to be/appear to be good, me eeeevilly encouraging him to...laugh at BOB/FRANK jokes!)

NEPHEW: We saw a sad video today.
ME: What was so sad?
NEPHEW: It was about bowling.
ME: BOWLING?! What in the world is sad about bowling? You know what I really hate? When they put up those blocks so little kids won't feel bad about all the gutter balls they throw.
NEPHEW/HIS MOTHER: No, BULLYING!
ME: Oh... Don't bully fat kids. Don't bully gay kids. Don't bully nerdy loners. 'Cause they'll come back to shoot you. Well, the fat kids won't. And the gay kids won't. But the nerdy loners...
HIS MOTHER: STOP IT!
NEPHEW: We saw a guy with no arms and no legs...
ME: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs tossed into the water? BOB! [ha-ha-ha!] What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying on a grill... [p.s. Click here for more!]
HIS MOTHER: STOP IT! Honey, what did you see today?
ME: Don't listen to your aunt at all. Whatever I say is exactly the OPPOSITE of what is right. I'm sorry. Now...
NEPHEW: We saw a man with no arms and no legs. I started crying at safety patrol today.
ME: You started CRYING? WHY?!
NEPHEW: Because he said that 5 people over on our half of the room would kill themselves.
ME: [oooof]

I have no actual idea who my nephew just saw today. I did find this YouTube video of armless/legless guy Nick Vujicic who's currently touring schools on behalf of god, but he doesn't seem like he would make kids cry.


No comments: