I knew while I was growing up that my dad hated women. That was a given. Didn't understand exactly when I was a kid, despite his constant put-downs. Processed it mentally around age 22 or so, during an all-night crying session.
The harder thing was learning that women I was close to emotionally/mentally actually ALSO hated women. My emotionally needy mind couldn't grasp that. (It's a sad thing to ever acknowledge overtly that you've been fooled. My mom, for instance, let it slip twice that she hated women. My sister-in-law let it slip once. Sandra... never said it outright but, despite her constant abuse since a kid by men, still only thinks of men for advancement and dismisses women.)
What's interesting/odd to me is that all were part of a trio of sisters:
Mom: Youngest of three sisters.
Sis-in-law: Oldest of three sisters.
Sandra: Middle of three sisters.
(Side literary note: Anne Sexton: The middle of three sisters. Side personal note: My best friend of years past was the middle of 3 sisters. Don't know that either Anne or Kathy hated women in general, though.)