Friday, May 24, 2013

Some College Experiences

I was an Innocent (aka "dumbshit") from a very small town when I came to college at the University of Texas in 1983. So many things gave me "bad vibes" then. (I've since learned that the below type of stuff is completely "normal" in the Real World -- at the time, though, I was horrified by all of it and took it very personally and sadly.)

One time I was walking down the Drag (a main street bordering the UT campus) and got spat on from above from some boys at the Goodall-Wooten dormitory. (When I went into the building to report the spitting, there was nobody inside on the ground floor to report it to.)

During a UT parade day, I was standing on the Drag, watching the floats go by. Feeling internally happy, especially (as a not-yet-Out-gay-girl) when the gay float went by. But then a frat boy standing next to me shouted out, "Fucking faggots!" at the float. I didn't feel strong enough to say anything to him. I slunk home, feeling like shit.

At the main UT library in the mid-80s, looking at the AIDS quilt on exhibit there and reading the entries in the accompanying guestbook; one entry I read said, "Die, fucking faggots."

Walking into a building one time, me and a black girl approached a door at the same time. The black girl's male companion (also black) held the door open for her and we both walked through. I said, "Thank you." He said to me, "I wasn't opening the door for YOU; I was opening it for HER."

Nearly every other day at college was something stupid and shitty like this. (Now, of course, I'm used to this constant generic crappy stuff. Then, though, it all seemed so very fresh and PERSONAL in its awfulness.)

I thought "feeling shitty" would leave me once I got to an intellectual center from my small town. Nah. The type of "shitty stuff" just changed.

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