Sunday, September 22, 2013

"HE IS BONAFIED!!!" (aka "Aspirations")

I'm more dismayed at this point than mocking. After years of Facebook and blogs, I shouldn't be surprised at anyone's heartfelt proclamations for public consumption. (I've made a few of my own.)

The above head, with its original spelling, came from the Facebook posting of a favorite cousin I haven't seen in 30 years, in celebration of the fact that she just changed her status on Facebook to "In a Relationship":  

 "I tell you all !! Its been a rough 2 years, but I finally made it !!!" Aside from his being "bonafied," he's also "retired military, served 3 tours in Iraq, and now a teacher!!!"

I'm happy for her being momentarily happy. But then my sense of reality (negativity?) kicks in:

1) Is 2 years really such a "rough" or long time not to be in a relationship? Me, I'm on a 13-year stretch. It's not fun; it's pretty grim, in fact. So when I hear "2 years" described as "rough" I automatically think, "What an amateur!" ;p

2) RE "I tell you all!!": I'm pretty sure that I will one day have both sex and someone to watch movies with again. And when I do... Dear lord, let me right after NOT announce it on Facebook (or on this blog) with the triumphant preface "I tell you all!!" Same with if I ever decide to kill myself, per an old high-school acquaintance's public Facebook fade-out on Demerol a couple of years ago. May I have a greater sense of decorum in my ultimate moments is all I have to say/ask.

3) RE "retired military, served 3 tours in Iraq, and now a teacher!!!":  I know we're supposed to knee-jerkedly "respect" military personnel. I don't. I do singularly respect this particular man for serving 3 tours in Iraq because I understand that it was a physically, psychologically hard task. But "3 tours in Iraq" do not subsequently make for good husband material. (Everything I've read about returning Iraq vets indicates exactly the opposite, in fact, unless you find PTSD reactions and substance abuse comforting.) The being excited about landing a teacher... Apparently my cousin has led a hardscrabble life, and so being with a teacher would definitely seem an unthreatening place of refuge. (Me, I've never heard a teacher have an original thought, which is depressing as hell to me personally. But then, of course, most people expect things other than "original thoughts" when it comes to their idea of an ideal partner!) ;p



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