Sunday, October 20, 2013


I've never known a couple that was better than the initial two individuals. A lot of times, what I've witnessed happening is that one or the other ends up kow-towing to the other's neuroses. With good intentions, because they love them and want to make them happy. And it keeps the peace. And yet, such reinforcing of neuroses is, to me, sick.

No, I won't give examples here! I've gotten in enough trouble here as it is!

Well, OK, I'll give you one example. (Because it's from a completely random person in my life, it's not going to cause any brouhaha!) 20 years ago, I was in a very inspiring writers' group that met every two weeks in a local restaurant for about 3 years before we disbanded. At one point, one of the guys in the group got married and had a kid. And then apparently his wife got suspicious about where he was going for hours on end every two weeks. And so she insisted on attending one of the writers' group meetings. WITH THE BABY. Which was fine at the very beginning, since she just sat there dumbly while we all talked about our writing, until the baby started fussing. She took the baby out of the room to begin with. But then came back in and SHOVED THE CRYING BABY AT THE GUY and left the room!


I can see getting mad at a mate who insists on going bar-hopping or to a strip club. I can even see, if you're extremely suspicious, not believing that it's really a WRITERS' GROUP that your mate is going off to every two weeks. BUT... Once you're THERE at the writers' group and see that everyone is, indeed, talking about writing? And then making a scene with the baby?

I've witnessed this kind of thing at least 5 times. It's bizarre to me. I know that everyone in a relationship must put up with the peccadillos of the other. But to this extent? Because you're THAT desperate for companionship?

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