Saturday, February 22, 2014

My People

There's a bit of a difference in your workplaces when a boss at one place advises you, in all sincerity, to "Own it!"; and a boss at the other likes discussing the serial comma and pet-peeve slowpoke tourists on escalators in NYC, London, et al., who don't also WALK while they're on the escalator.

Sometimes you don't realize how shitty of a situation you've been in until you get in a GOOD one with people who LIKE talking to you instead of rolling their eyes at you and/or frowning when you ask a question (any question). If you're in the bad situation, you might tend to pretend that it's not happening because the vibe is so constantly so fucking WEIRD for no apparent reason. You're not doing anything wrong, so WHY all the creepiness??

My last boss at my last 4-month temp job. My mother. Sandra. I find myself in situations where I try to please these people, and I just can't, regardless of what I do. It's psychologically debilitating because I obviously want/need SOMETHING that they have to offer or I wouldn't be hanging around... but aside from the occasional bone, there's nothing of long-term sustenance ever thrown my way.

Being around this constantly has been draining in every way. Reminds me a whole lot of medical studies done with rats and cocaine: After the rats have triggered the cocaine-lever numerous times and learned to go straight to it, the scientists then re-rig the experiment so that the same lever now triggers electric shocks/pain instead of pleasure. It takes the rats a very long time to stop going to the same once-pleasure-giving levers, even after numerous jolts.

Which is sick? The scientist or the rat?

No comments: