Wednesday, May 06, 2015

A Little Bit Grateful Right Now!

#1:  My job right now is the best job I've ever had. Intellectually challenging, and pays every bill, with plenty left over every month.

From 1998 to 2007 (pre-NYC), I worked for a publishing company, which is what I initially wanted to work for... It was mind-numbingly dull work. It paid the bills, but I was going nuts from the boredom. No wonder I wildly broke loose.

#2:  I'm not, out of desperation, engaged to a schlub who's moved me out to the country, and I'm not, equally desperately, trying to find a sugar-daddy before my lease is up in July.

Those are really sad things to be "thankful" for! :) But two intelligent, beautiful women I've been in love with in the past decade are in exactly those #2 positions today. I find them, and their situations, EXTREMELY depressing. (The dream I had Sunday about the first woman was actually a positive dream in and of itself -- a feeling of closeness with someone. But then I had to go and look up online what she was actually doing...yuck; stirred up old feelings of hanging around and hanging around those stupid karaoke bars then being upset when she ran off to Houston to get married to the first guy, saying "I told you so" to myself when she came back to Austin a mere few months later, then being depressed/annoyed again when I saw the next schlub she was with. A bunch of dumbness that I'm LONG SINCE no longer an emotional part of. In the future, I'll try to just leave a pleasant dream at that!)

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