Monday, October 03, 2016

OK, I'm not going anywhere for the next few years.

Despite what I said in my last post. Honestly, I care more now, at 51, than I did at 42 (when I tossed over everything to move to NYC without a job) about giving up hard-earned stuff.

For one thing, I like my current job a lot. It's intellectually stimulating, I look forward to going to work every day, and the day passes quickly because I'm engrossed in what I'm doing. Back in '07, when I moved to NYC, I couldn't say the same about that job at Holt. The editing I was doing was tedious. And, a year or so before I left, the company had been bought by an international, British-based company and layoffs were going on constantly, every 3 months or so. (The Pakistani guy brought in to lead our office was an utterly clueless, rude dick.) In the 3 rounds of layoffs that I experienced personally: Survived 1st round (when long-time employees were literally escorted off the premises within an hour after being told they'd lost their jobs), was laid off 2nd round and brought back in several weeks later, survived 3rd round... Was disgusted and not about to stick around for a 4th round. The timing was perfect to get the hell out of that toxic environment and go try something completely new. I had nothing to lose.

Today, though, while I'm not completely happy with my salary, the company is relatively stable and sans chaos. And, as I said above, I like my job. And I've spent much psychological/emotional energy since coming back to Austin in 2010 rebuilding my place in the world over the past 6 years. I gave away and/or lost literally EVERYTHING when I chose to move to New York. ("Gave away" = selling car and all furniture and most books/CDs, quitting job to throw myself into a NY/national job market that was in the process of crashing; "Lost" = my cat Gracie died while I was there because I couldn't afford vet care.)

Since returning to Austin with my tail between my legs, utterly whipped, in 2010, I now in 2016 have a decent job in the field (editing) that I love, a car that I've purchased myself (the first sans help from a parent), furniture that I chose/bought myself (the first sans help from a parent). The thousands of dollars that I've spent on said car and furniture have been earned by ME over the past 6 years. I'm proud of it. And not so quick to toss all of it over just because I like the weather and architecture better in Weehawken, New Jersey.

I DO like Weehawken and New York City a LOT better than I like Austin. But I already took my chance there. I'm not doing that again without some sort of much greater financial cushion.

If I want to get my head completely clear (i.e., little drinking) and make a concerted effort to apply to jobs in the NYC area, that's one thing. I'll never again, though, just up and leave like I did in 2007. I learned that lesson.

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