Thursday, April 12, 2018

Sleeping with, loving: Whatever happened to?

I've only slept with 5 people (though have been in love with several more), so every now and then when I'm bored I have to do an Internet search to see what might be up with the Fab Five.

(1) First girlfriend, first lover (Scorpio) is pretty much the same today. I was 23, she was 36 when we first met in '89. She was a dominatrix, heavy into Austin's goth club scene and teenaged girls. Today, I'm 52, she's 65 (!) --- and, according to random online sources, she's STILL posting suggestive photos and asking teenaged girls to tell her about their masturbation habits (!); heavy PhotoShopping involved in her photos!

HOW does that creepy shit not change in nearly 30 years??

(2)  Second lover (Virgo) was a rebound from the first in the early '90s; met her via the Austin Chronicle personals (Female seeking Female) section, back before there was "online" and people actually wrote letters and sent photos to each other. We slept together occasionally for about 3 months. At the time, she'd just gotten out of the military, was living in a one-room boarding house (bathroom at the end of the hall), and was about to enroll in the local junior college. The sex was boring (and I hated going down on her specifically, though I've usually not had a problem with that), and she disapproved of the fact that I'd dated the above-mentioned dominatrix, who was known around town in the cloistered "lesbian community." I wasn't very in to her sexually, but I liked her to hang out with... but SHE ended it.

Here she is (center) in the late '90s, a couple of years after we'd dated (singer Sarah McLachlan at left). She was a DJ for a local Austin radio station at this point (I had always listened to the station that she DJ'd for and would actually hear her on the air), and I remember feeling envious: I'd just gotten out of grad school in San Francisco and was jobless and back in Austin --- and here was this random person that I'd once slept with supposedly living the high life.

A few years after this, she enrolled in the film department at UT Austin and went on to make several gay-oriented short films. She's now living in West Hollywood, still making short films and appearing at gay film fests, and she now looks like this:

According to her Instagram, she had the sex change a couple of years ago. 

(3) A young woman I met at the campus library where I worked (Aquarius). After being friends for months at work, after going out to clubs dancing, after weekly drinking sessions with a group of friends at Austin's Les Amis cafe, after her taking me home to meet her parents (she and I had rented "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane," which her father didn't want to watch; he left the room in a huff)...we finally slept together at a party at her house. Her much-older boyfriend knocked and knocked and knocked and knocked at the bedroom door the next morning; he finally left after I got up and greeted him. (He had gone home from the party at an early hour, after which she and I drunkenly slept and spent the night together; he was a very polite person.) Prior to this, she had often told me how boring he was and how bisexual she was. After this, she made a point of telling me what her plans were with him that weekend. We never hung out again after we slept together. Last time I checked, she was working as a psychiatric nurse in Seattle or someplace (I couldn't ever figure out if the nice, older boyfriend went with her and married her up there).

(4) My male boss at the office where I worked (Leo, like me). I was 28, he was 54. The first, and only, man I've ever had sex with (though I've made out with several more men). Despite my often being furious because he had other things to do (like... his marriage and his job!), I probably had the best time with him. We had fun bar-hopping, he was fun in bed, and he was a great conversationalist --- very interesting all around. I dated him for about 8 months right before I went off to grad school in San Fran. We talked a few times on the phone while I was there. Once I got back to Austin, he avoided me completely. He had a heart attack that I read about in the local paper (I sent him a get-well card) a couple of years later, and retired from state service about 10 years ago.

(5) A young woman I met at a gay club a couple of times before I finally slept with her (sign unknown). I honestly don't remember her name---oh, wait: Katie. She was bright, and at one time after we'd first met, she came right up to me at a club and bit my lower lip, which I thought was hot. Sex: Her: "What do you want me to do?" Me: "Fuck me." (Next morning, all I had to offer her for breakfast was a banana and orange juice.) After this, we spoke a couple of times on the phone, but I was still into my first ex (see #1 above), who was still hanging around, and this never went anywhere.

Between and after all of these, there were/have been various make-outs and various long-distance loves on my part, but these were the actual.

Love/lust, but no sex at various points between 1983 and 2018: Ginny (Libra), Elena (unknown sign), Sandra (Scorpio), Murrah (Aquarius), Alex (Scorpio), Julie (Pisces), Sandra again. I'm pretty sure that all of these remained women over the years.

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