Wednesday, May 23, 2018

The Unwanted

Oh, let's see... I haven't spent the past two Christmases with family (mother, brother/wife/2 nephews), all of whom live in the same town as I do.

Christmas Eve 2016: I arrived at my mother's house. Her first question to me when I walked in her home: "Where's your car?" I'd parked down the street, so I said, "Down the street." She then repeated: "Where's your car? Where's your car? Where's your car?" I then repeated: "I parked DOWN THE STREET." She then repeated: "Where's your car?"

At that point, I dropped my bags full of Christmas gifts in her living room and walked out the door, telling her, "I can't take this bullshit any more."

That was the end of my Christmas 2016. The Eve was planned for my mother's house; the Day the next day was supposed to be at my brother's. He didn't call to ask what had happened and why I wasn't there (didn't expect him to).

I didn't speak to any of them until April 2017, when I moved into a new apartment, and invited my mother over for Mother's Day in May. I asked her then what had happened to all of the Christmas presents that I left back in December... Oh, they were all still sitting in a bag in her living room.

Later in May 2017 was my nephew's birthday. My mother brought my still-sitting-around Christmas bag of presents to our lunch for my nephew. We quickly opened the presents IN THE PARKING LOT of the restaurant.

In August 2017, my mother called and let me know that she was seeing a lawyer the next day re her will. Five years earlier, it had been me and my brother splitting her legacy 50/50. Three years earlier, she had told me that I would get one-third, my brother would get one-third, and the two nephews would split the other one-third. In August 2017, turned out I was to get her house --- but 50% of that would be co-owned with my brother! And the whole inheritance would be split 25% apiece with me/brother/nephew 1/nephew 2.

No way. The one thing I needed in this world was a home. (I'm doing OK otherwise, just cannot afford a home.) And like hell I'm going to live in a home that my brother has any control over. And like hell I think some tweens should be in control of hundreds of thousands of dollars when I myself have worked my ass off throughout my life (currently having $501 subtracted from my paycheck every month to pay off my student loan that my parents didn't bother saving up for or paying for).

I haven't spoken to her since.

Thanksgiving, Christmas 2017 = spent alone, of course.

2018: My older nephew just turned 16 over the last weekend. I sent a birthday card, with a $50 gift card. I was on-hand in the hospital in 2002 when this kid was born. I've been around him ever since. I mailed the card last Thursday, heard nothing all weekend. (Was kind of hoping for an invite to celebrate.) Monday, I e-mailed my brother at his work: "Did you get my birthday card and gift cards?" Answer on Tuesday: "Yes, thanks."

Wow. I had to fish for ANY response. (I was hoping that someone would say "thank you" before I had to ask --- does the 16-year-old know about manners? Why didn't his parents teach him?)

The younger nephew's 13th birthday is coming up in July. I'll send a card and present to him then. And that's the end of any family connection at all, I guess. It's very sad. I'm being forced into Nothing.

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