Friday, June 08, 2018

Response to those who ask "Why didn't anyone do anything?"

After the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain this week, Internet cries out, "Why didn't anyone do anything?"

In truth, when you're around an actual potential suicide, that person is usually obnoxious and off-putting. You don't like them. You don't want to be around them.

Later you find out --- Oooops!

Myself, when I was at my lowest points maybe three times in the past 30 years... I was left completely on my own. 100% on my own. Had I killed myself at any of those times, people would have then come forward to say: "Oh, if only we'd known..." Bullshit. All of the people in my life at those times knew EXACTLY how bad off I was and didn't give one shit or attempt to help me in any way.

I survived. Sans any help from anyone that I knew. The only thing that saved me was my books and records and self-image as an intellectual winner in my small-town junior high and high school (which didn't translate to college and after, but, nonetheless, I still kept that image in my head). Oh, and Joan Crawford, whom I "discovered" in 1987 at age 22 --- I thought she was just a "coming out" fad, but Crawford's looks and self and life have remained a huge, profound inspiration to me for the past 30+ years. (Thank you, Joan. Fuck you, everyone else.)

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