I just applied for a home loan...

What? ME owning a home?

This whole home-buying process is mysterious to me. My credit score is VG; I make enough money. I THINK I get bonus points for being a woman and a first-time home-buyer... I turned for advice to a former co-worker, also a single woman, and who makes less money than me---she was approved a couple of years ago, and she gave me pointers for applying. Tonight, I finished sending off all pay stubs and W2 forms to the lender.

We'll see what comes of this.

A year or so ago, I thought I'd stick it out at my current apartment. And then when/if I ever got an inheritance, I'd use that chunk of money to get a small house or condo...

But over the past 6 months or so, I've been feeling almost constantly irritated by my current apartment. It's big enough (1200 sq ft). But then there are the neighbors on all sides, and the maintenance guys in the next-door room. Oh, yeah, and the fact that I just got through living without ANY water for 9 DAYS, thanks to the apartment's decrepitude!

I won't have to deal with listening to maintenance guys once Wuhan is over and I go back to regular work instead of working at home. And the huge water crisis probably won't happen again.

But the fact remains: This apartment has no views at all. I see my neighbors' air-conditioners out of my large front windows, and I see two stories of neighbor apartments whenever I go into my small backyard. It's claustrophobic. And plus: There are the un-fond memories of firecrackers exploding, and gangs of people hanging out at all hours on balconies and by the pool (back when the pool was open, pre-Wuhan), and the girl who lived on her stoop above my yard and took selfies all day... And then today, I was bringing groceries in, and a girl's big-ass German shepherd nearly jerked off his leash while snarling at me... And then the memories of the autistic kid and her mother yelling at me, and of the weird loud guy yelling outside on the phone some days, and then on other days insanely claiming he'd rescued my packages from thieves... And all of the obnoxious kids screaming outside my windows...

I've pretty much had enough. I'm too old to be living around the ongoing bullshit of poor 20-somethings and poor 30-somethings with kids. (My complex has a mix of units ranging from efficiencies to one-bedrooms to two-bedrooms with yards---when I moved in to the upper end of the apartments in 2017, I was too busy being excited about the space and the yard to stop and think about what living around 20-somethings and poor 30-somethings and their kids stuck in tiny rooms would be like.)

Short of it: Mid-March, I have to give notice if I'm moving when my lease is up in mid-May. If the home-loan doesn't go through, then I'll probably still move---I feel stifled. And, luckily, I have enough money to change my circumstances if I so choose. (Though it's SUCH a pain to move once you actually have furniture and books...)

Whatever the case: I'm bored and stagnant. All I'm doing is spinning my wheels and complaining, which isn't healthy. This time, it's not the job or any person. It could be me, but for now I'll just "blame" the place---time to try out a new one, and if said "new one" is my own home, all the better. It's about time I had a big new project to work on. And I want to be responsible for wrapping my own pipes.

George Jones: Tennessee Whiskey (1983)

Chris Stapleton: Tennessee Whiskey (Austin City Limits, 2015)

Twice in the past year, the song "Tennessee Whiskey" has, for whatever reason, come up in conversation. I of course always pricked up my ears at the reference because, to me, that song means GEORGE JONES. But apparently, it today means CHRIS STAPLETON! :)
 

I really like this Stapleton version, but... I could also do with fewer "trills" (i.e., making 8 syllables out of one). He's apparently the Mariah Carey of country music.

Merle Haggard and George Jones: No Show Jones (1982)

Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson: Pancho and Lefty (1983)

Merle Haggard: Going Where The Lonely Go (1982)

Making up things to do
Not running in all directions trying to find you

Merle Haggard: Mama Tried (Austin City Limits, 1985)

Merle Haggard: Okie From Muskogee (1969)

Driving around today radio-surfing, I landed on KVET in Austin (used to be classic country, but now too much really bad modern stuff), which opined (ironically, given the majority of its current playlist) in a canned blurb: "Never trust anyone who can't name at least 4 Haggard songs." I agree. Here's Number One.

Sylvia Plath: Whiteness I Remember (July 1958)

Whiteness being what I remember
About Sam: whiteness and the great run
He gave me. I’ve gone nowhere since but
Going’s been tame deviation. White,
Not of heraldic stallions: off-white
Of the stable horse whose history’s
Humdrum, unexceptionable, his
Tried sobriety hiring him out
To novices and to the timid.
Yet the dapple toning his white down
To safe gray never grayed his temper.

I see him one-tracked, stubborn, white horse,
First horse under me, high as the roofs,
His near trot pitching my tense poise up,
Unsteadying the steady-rooted green
Of country hedgerows and cow pastures
To a giddy jog. Then for ill will
Or to try me he suddenly set
Green grass streaming, houses a river
Of pale fronts, straw thatchings, the hard road
An anvil, hooves four hammers to jolt
Me off into their space of beating,

Stirrups undone, and decorum. And
Wouldn’t slow for the hauled reins, his name,
Or shouts of walkers: crossed traffic
Stalling curbside at his oncoming,
The world subdued to his run of it.
I hung on his neck. Resoluteness
Simplified me: a rider, riding
Hung out over the hazard, over hooves
Loud on earth’s bedrock. Almost thrown, not
Thrown: fear, wisdom, at one: all colors
Spinning to still in his one whiteness.

Water on after 10 days! (And my future kit.)

My apartment complex finally fixed the water today at around 5pm, after 10 days of no water at all. Though there's the threat of the water being shut off again overnight if anyone reports any leaks.

First thing I did was flush both toilets! And then, because the water might be shut off again overnight, I filled up a couple of gallon jugs, just in case. And then: The water's still not quite hot, but warm enough to do my first load of dishes. (I'll probably need one to two more loads to get caught up with the backlog.)

(My body can wait 'til the actual HOT water arrives, hopefully tomorrow morning, but in the meantime, I REALLY DO need some at least semi-clean glasses and plates and cutlery!)

I was mainly UNprepared for the 10-day deprivation of city services. The actual freeze last week, and accompanying power outage, only lasted for 3 or so days, and I had enough canned food and bottled water to last through those 3 days.

But my flashlights were, as I wrote in an earlier post, extremely tiny and pitiful (although they did allow me to read during a couple of nights, albeit with the fear that the batteries would wear out at any second---I didn't have any spares).

And once the water outage continued past Day 3 (into Day 10), I was REALLY unprepared water-wise:

(1) Although my apartment complex has a pool that we could haul water from for flushing toilets, I didn't have an appropriate container. I used my plant-watering can and some popcorn bowls, which usually involved 2 or 3 trips daily.

(2) While one 16-oz bottle of water sufficed for brushing my teeth (and washing off the toothpaste suds from my face and right arm), the rest of me could not be washed. I felt nasty. (And I could barely wash my hands at all, much less my hair.)

(3) After a few days, my dishes started to run out. Sans water, I wiped them off with a paper towel, but there was soon a pile-up. (I at least tried to keep separate the spoons I'd used to feed the cats from those I used to feed myself.)

The day prior to the anticipated freeze, but before the actual water outage, I'd listened to the weather reports and ordered like mad from Amazon and Walmart. Knowing the stuff wouldn't arrive on time, but hoping it would arrive at least at the tail-end. Most items have finally arrived today:

A big bucket
A lantern and flashlights (and batteries)
Face wipes and butt wipes
Hand sanitizer
Drinking cups

The above reminds me of an event I attended a few years ago: I, for the most part, looked nice and appropriate for the occasion but, alas, my purse was a big clunker that did not at all suit either my outfit or the event. (I had no other purse for the occasion, but thanks to my sister-in-law for letting me borrow her purse that evening!) Afterward, I searched online and bought not one but two small beaded vintage purses should I ever have to attend a similar event... I've never had to use them since, but at least I'm prepared. (So now I have beaded bags and a bucket, and wipes for both face and butt: Will I ever, though, figure out how to appropriately prepare AHEAD of time?)

Aaaah/Ugggh: My first shower in 8 days!

After no water since last Tuesday (during The Freeze, which ended last Friday), and after leaving two phone messages at the apartment office during the past week with no response, I today again called the apartment main office and this time got someone on the phone: When WILL the water be back on?

As expected, the employee that answered would/could not answer my questions. And then I felt the need to explain, with some agitation, that I hadn't had a shower in 8 days, and that carrying water from the pool multiple times a day to fill toilet tanks was very heavy, and were we going to get a discount on our rent for this month, and WHY ON EARTH do we still not have water after 8 days when the temps got above freezing last Friday? The rest of Austin now has water; why doesn't this complex? If the in-house crew wasn't enough, then why didn't you bring in outside help last Friday? Oh yeah, and I REALLY need a shower: I know the company has multiple properties---can you at least let me use an empty apartment that has water so I can take a shower?! 

The guy listened, with some annoying minor protestations, and then said he'd get back to me: and, yes, he completely UNDERSTOOD that I was expressing a need to take a shower...

I actually wasn't expecting much beyond my chance to vent. But, lo and behold, the guy called me back an hour later: An apartment building next door run by the same company had water, and I could shower there, in an unoccupied efficiency. I just needed to be aware that there was no shower curtain (and so should sop up the water afterward), and that I should be sure to lock the deadbolt, etc. (Don't get excited---there's no funny story about anyone bursting in on me!) :)

Wheeeeeeee! Clean at last! I packed up two garbage bags---one with cleansing supplies: body wash, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush, wash-cloth, towel, and the other with a change of clean clothes---and rushed to get the key to the empty apartment and drop off my driver's license in exchange.

It was initially interesting to go into a different apartment. Tiny, like the one I lived in only 7 years ago. And---unlike my former apartment, which had a nice 2nd-floor view of trees and a backyard---the blinds of this apartment's sliding-glass door opened to cars parked only 2 feet away. (This 400-sq-ft apt rents for around $900; my current 1200-sq-ft apt is around $1400.)

Low-grade philosophizing aside, when I got in the bathroom and got my clothes off... Damn. I'd forgotten what it actually takes to take a shower. One: The lever you press that changes the water flow from tub to shower didn't work completely, so the shower-head pressure wasn't very strong. Instead of a straight stream, the water kind of hunched out of the shower head. Two: The tub is VERY slippery when you don't have a rubber mat. Three: Not having a shower curtain really does make a big mess on the floor. Four: It's not very comfortable stepping out of the tub onto a cold, hard floor.

I did, though, whoop it up for a couple of minutes while I showered---for the FIRST TIME IN EIGHT DAYS!! (Albeit while trying to not slip and break a hip or something---being of that age.)

Afterwards came the miserable cold, hard floor and, after drying myself, trying to sop up all of the water on the floor with the good towel that I'd brought with me. (It's my best towel, and I hadn't thought to bring a crappy towel for the floor...)

I didn't, though, care about walking back to my apartment with wet hair carrying a couple of garbage bags; over the past week, I'd gotten used to both me and my hair looking unsightly. Rather, I felt momentarily fresh and clean.

Word is, water won't be on until Thursday. If I could make it sans personal cleaning (aside from the occasional tooth-brushing) for 8 days, then 2 days is nothing!

(Post to come once all of the goods from Amazon/Walmart have arrived and I take pictures: All of the various personal wipes and flashlights I have ordered in the past week!)

Favorite Plath Photos

 

Pile-ups after 7 days with no water

(Ha! Don't get nervous----I haven't included any photos of my toilet.)

Here's the thing, though: My apartment complex shut off the water on Tuesday the 16th because of a pipe break. Austin thawed out last Friday the 19th. But as of today (Monday the 22nd), there's still no water at my apartment. Why?

This whole situation is certainly unique. I've certainly never gone a whole week without showering (or even face-washing). Tooth-brushing takes less water---about one 16 oz bottle, so I've done that every other day or so...

Other odd "problems" sans water: I recently sold some eBay stuff that I needed to get to the post office. I thought about e-mailing the buyers and saying, "Look, my hair is just too greasy to be seen in public..." But then I remembered that Wuhan is still going on, so I'd be wearing a mask and nobody was going to know who the hell I was looking so greasy-creepy... I went to the post office, as scheduled. (I did NOT, however, allow a camera for my Monday virtual work meeting; I mailed my boss hours earlier and told him that no one at work was going to see me 'til I'd had a long, hot shower.)

Oh, re the toilet: Early Monday morning, I made 3 trips to the apartment swimming pool to fill up various containers, so I could get the toilet tank up to the appropriate fill line to enable flushing. Sounds minor, but containers of water are HEAVY, man! I kept picturing centuries of women going to some watering-hole and carrying those laden buckets back to their hovel... It's hard work, and I only had to go about 20 yards!

Doppelganger

While on the way home yesterday from buying up bottled water at the corner store, I ran into an old-lady apartment neighbor walking her dog and we got to chatting about the recent hardships at the apartment complex (no electricity, no Internet/TV, no water). After a few minutes of commiseration, she said to me: "And you've also got your two daughters to look out for." Aaaaaargh! She was referring to the lady whose one autistic daughter had been entering my apartment, etc.---the same lady who'd banged on my door and yelled at me before moving out at the end of January.

I quickly said, "No, not me. I don't have any kids. 'Bye!" (Ironic, while reading so much Plath, that I now have a doppelganger---I'm now the weirdo mother of the weirdo kid!)

Side Note: My mother and I are currently not speaking---again---because of that same yelling incident. I'd e-mailed my mom telling her about the woman yelling at me, and expecting a little sympathy. Nah. She sympathized with the woman and her obnoxious kid. Typical. When I got raped 20 years ago, her first question to me was if I'd been drinking. When I called her while in NYC begging for money to help move out from my psycho roommate's apartment, she hung up on me---though in fairness, she did later send me a check for a deposit for a new apartment.

Side Note 2: Many of my apartment neighbors have a friend or family member's house that they can go to during this time to get water or take a shower. I don't. I am, though, grateful to my boss at work, who called his employees during the past week, including me, just to check on us to make sure we were OK. And a couple of co-workers who live near me volunteered their places for water---but they meant drinking water, I'm sure, not me going over there to take a shower! :)

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger (albeit stinkier), motherfuckers! :)

Winter Storm Reading

This week's "historic winter storm/freeze" has been over since Friday, but some effects remain: It's now Saturday, and I haven't had water since Tuesday! I stink! I did fill up multiple water bottles before the freeze, and bought a couple of quart-bottles from the now-open corner store on Friday. But that's been for my/pet drinking and occasional teeth-brushing and some basic hand-splashing every now and then.

Here's what's been off the past week:

No electricity/gas: Feb. 15, 16

No Internet/TV: Feb. 16, 19

Heater broken: Feb. 17, 18, 19
No water: Feb. 16 to present

 

Flushing toilets: Me and my apartment compadres have been hauling jugs-n-bowls of water from the apartment swimming pool. At first, I thought it was mildly interesting---"like in the olden days, when people had to go to the local well or river!" But after three trips of hauling very heavy water containers to barely flush one toilet, the process got very tedious very quickly and I stopped thinking nostalgically of Olden Tymes.

 

These long days with nothing to do did allow me plenty of time to read the latest massive Sylvia Plath books: The 2-volume Letters and the Heather Clark bio. I'm still on the first volume of the letters, so it's still primarily a long, tedious series of "good girl" letters to Mother and impassioned declarations of love to various boyfriends. Don't know how truly "complete" the letters are going to be once the actually interesting "time of trouble" starts with Ted... The new bio, I just finished: It is well-researched but also mildly tedious: I'd already read probably 90% of the material in other books. Author Clark clearly uses the recent Letters volumes as sources---and since I'm simultaneously reading said letters, the repetition is a bit annoying. (Several new, interesting things, though: Info about Otto Plath's early days and the fact that his mother died in a psychiatric institution, color photos of some of Sylvia Plath's paintings, and more-specific accounts of her last days.)

One thing in particular that struck me: This past week, as I read these books, has been the coldest in the past 50+ years of Austin's history, with the many accompanying inconveniences. Similarly, the January 1962 and February 1963 of Plath's last days were at the time the coldest in London's history. But, while I only had to deal with no water/heat/electricity for one week, she had to deal with ongoing electric and water outages (and no phone) for week after week---while suffering from sinus problems AND depression AND having to care for two small children. While my current circumstances are much less serious, they nonetheless gave me an indication of some of the external problems she was having to deal with, in addition to her internal torment.

 

John Henry Haney's funeral video (June 2020)

https://www.cannonclevelandfunerals.com/obituary/john-haney

John was the owner of Ft. Indian Springs Antiques and Flea Market in Flovilla, GA for more than 25 Years. He was very proud of the fact that he obtained a military driver’s license that allowed him to drive any motor vehicle.  He also had a Nascar driver’s license and raced at the Peach Bowl in the 1960’s.

Back in 1983, all I knew him as was Ginny's father. And that he drank a lot of Cokes every day. And that he didn't want me and Ginny to visit a Unitarian church.

He and Ginny's mother (Joan) and Ginny and I traveled to Georgia in the summer of 1983 to visit his mother. On the way back, he and Joan, and Ginny and I, shared one hotel room together. Ginny and I giggled surreptitiously while watching the sexier scenes from "The Blue Lagoon" on the hotel-room TV, hoping the parents were truly asleep.

In the fall of 1983, Ginny ran away from home to Austin, where I was.

In 1984 or so, after Ginny had left me, he opened a bookstore. I stopped by one day, hoping to see Ginny there. Bought a Nietzsche book instead.

In 1985, I wrote this memoir for Ginny:

Sitting still on your wind-rattled plank balcony
Cigarette in your hand, cloth-laid thigh warming me
Ever-subtle we stretch, turning months into years
I could love you or leave you, provoke fractured fears

In the smoke swirling 'round with the mist from our lips
We traced our initials with numbed fingertips
And laughed 'til our ice-faces threatened to crack
The wall etching lines in the small of our backs.

And Daddy knock-knocking, an endless tattoo
Just what was it your Daddy wanted of you?
Our thoughts? Wedded secrets, more guarded by far
Than the battered wood door, kept unlocked, left ajar

But I don't want to go, with your face shadowed doubt
I could stay, pleading faith, heavy voice wearing out
Saying things far too desperate, too tangled to claim---
So I run from confusion, the taste of your name.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I suppose this man could have been my father-in-law.

George Jones: I'd Rather Have What We Had (1983)

George Jones: I Just Don't Give a Damn (1975)

George Jones: She's Mine

George Jones: When the Wife Runs Off with Another Man (1969)

I've lost so much weight from living on hate...

Tammy Wynette and George Jones: "We're Gonna To Try To Get Along" (Florida, 1973)

Rock-n-Roll Honky Tonk Ramblin' Man: Rick Broussard, Johnny X Reed (7-24-15)

Be it Rick Broussard or George Jones playing out on the street: Cool is Cool.

Rick Broussard at Carousel Lounge (2014): We Used to Fuss...

Rick Broussard at Saxon Pub (2015): We Used to Fuss...

City Hall Sessions 24 - Rick Broussard (2018)

Extremely embarrassing setting. (For one thing, can't stand the utterly inept Mayor Steve Adler. And why on earth would anyone want to perform on such a generic non-stage before the City Council?)

The performance is great, despite the setting.

The interview afterward = Only mildly embarrassing. (Broussard is a nearly-60-year-old man, but he talks like a kid. I'm old-fashioned: Post-40 or 45, men should talk like men.)

Not quite prepared for this week-long winter storm!

Well, I did KINDA prepare... I did fill up water bottles and a couple of jugs on Monday, and I did do grocery shopping early Sunday (among my usual stuff, I specifically got multiple cans of beans and, most importantly, cigarettes). But LIGHT-wise, I was woefully UNprepared!

Last Thursday, I saw on the news that power outages were expected, so I gathered up what flashlights I had in the house... Very pitiful. Two were samples had been given out at trade shows or something (given to me by mom and a co-worker years ago). The third was a small flashlight I'd bought myself years ago but that no longer worked, even after changing batteries. I jerry-rigged it with tape to keep the circuits (or whatever they're called) rubbing against each other, but I still had to constantly press the "on" button to keep the weak light going.

 

So Thursday I immediately went and ordered a camping flashlight/lantern and plenty of batteries from Amazon. Supposed to have arrived this past Monday or Tuesday. Still not here (Wednesday). Delivery delayed because of weather! :)

Once the storm hit Sunday evening, I had power up until Monday at 6pm. Then it went out completely (along with no gas for cooking and no Internet) for the next 24 hours. (Whatever happened to the alleged planned "rolling outages" for about 1 to 2 hours?!) I basically spent the dark hours of that time lying bundled up on the couch, reading my new Sylvia Plath book "Red Comet" using the tiny flashlights, with 4 or 5 candles to lend a bit of glow to the living room (and help me see in the bathroom!). (The cats were a little freaked out by the weird shadows everywhere!)

Food-wise: I tried not to open the fridge/freezer doors too many times to conserve the cool temps inside. By Tuesday afternoon, though, I was about to load all the perishables up in a plastic bin and set them outside to keep them cold, but fortunately electricity came back on Tuesday about 5pm. (And it's still on Wednesday at 10pm, as I write this, thank goodness, though news reports say power could still go out again between now and the upcoming storm coming late tonight.)

On Tuesday around 2pm, my apartment complex turned off all of the water----it still is not back on. Luckily, I'd filled up lots of bottles and jugs the weekend before, so I still have plenty of drinking water for me and pets. But, frankly, I'm starting to smell! I need a hot shower!! (Or at least the ability to wash my now-gritty hands. I have managed to brush my teeth.)

For toilet flushing, I didn't fill up the bathtub early, like the news recommended, but when the water was still able to at least drip out of the faucets, I did fill up a couple of popcorn bowls with water and I still have them sitting there in the tub. I also, upon local news recommendation, scooped up some snow/ice in another big bowl and am waiting for it to melt and help out. Luckily, I have two toilets, and there were the two "free" flushes after the water first went out! :) Thanks also to the one guy on the local news who told me where exactly I was supposed to pour this extra water! (I didn't know if it was directly in the toilet, or in the tank---turns out, either one should work.)

The bad news today (Wednesday) was that my central heating stopped working. The air was still blowing, but blowing cold. My apt complex gave me a very tiny space heater. During the 24 hours with no power at all, the apartment was down to about 53 degrees. Right now, with the space heater, it's at 59. (I'm lucky, though, compared to some people I've seen on the news whose indoor temps have gone down to about 40!)

 

 

So...it's been interesting! Despite currently having no heat and water, I'm very grateful for at least electricity for light and so I can watch TV. Oh, and, after not drinking all week, today I bundled up with my old NYC red rain boots and made a mile-long trek to the nearest gas station on Burnet Road that had power and sold beer. (My usual corner store across the street is still shut down.) A minor Triumph of the Will: "Dammit, I WILL find beer!" (The 10-year-old rain boots proved tread-worthy but CRACKED with age---I got home with wet socks. And now I've ordered new red rain boots for next time.)

This all has also served as somewhat of a palate cleanser. Lying in the cold and dark reading Plath by flashlight/candlelight was peaceful. Not having obnoxious kids running around right outside my window was peaceful. (The ubiquitous kids, while non-existent on Sunday and Monday because of the super-cold, made their annoying reappearance outside my window on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons when the cold was not quite so extreme. Not for long, but long enough to remind me what type of "frolicking" was in store in the spring and summer, when the daylight hours extend to nearly 9pm. I need to GET AWAY FROM HERE.)

Sylvia Plath: Last Words (October 1961)

[NOTE: In October 1961, the month that this poem was written, Plath and Hughes had just moved to their Court Green home the month before. Their son Nicholas was born January 1962. Assia Wevill wouldn't appear on their hearth until May 1962; "the phone call" occurred July 1962; and Plath kicked Hughes out of the house in October 1962. All of this to say: Had Plath written this poem within a few weeks/months of her death in February 1963, critics would be claiming that this poem was a result of outward events. On the contrary: She obviously already thought like this.]


I do not want a plain box, I want a sarcophagus
With tigery stripes, and a face on it
Round as the moon, to stare up.
I want to be looking at them when they come
Picking among the dumb minerals, the roots.
I see them already --- the pale, star-distance faces.
Now they are nothing, they are not even babies.
I imagine them without fathers or mothers, like the first gods.
They will wonder if I was important.
I should sugar and preserve my days like fruit!
My mirror is clouding over ---
A few more breaths, and it will reflect nothing at all.
The flowers and the faces whiten to a sheet.

I do not trust the spirit. It escapes like steam
In dreams, through mouth-hole or eye-hole. I can't stop it.
One day it won't come back. Things aren't like that.
They stay, their little particular lusters
Warmed by much handling. They almost purr.
When the soles of my feet grow cold,
The blue eye of my turquoise will comfort me.
Let me have my copper cooking pots, let my rouge pots
Bloom about me like night flowers, with a good smell.
They will roll me up in bandages, they will store my heart
Under my feet in a neat parcel.
I shall hardly know myself. It will be dark,
And the shine of these small things sweeter than the face of Ishtar.

Sylvia Plath: Winter Trees (November 1962)

The wet dawn inks are doing their blue dissolve.
On their blotter of fog the trees
Seem a botanical drawing ---
Memories growing, ring on ring,
A series of weddings.

Knowing neither abortion nor bitchery,
Truer than women,
They seed so effortlessly!
Tasting the winds, that are footless,
Waist-deep in history ---

Full of wings, otherworldliness.
In this, they are Ledas.
O mother of leaves and sweetness
Who are these pietas?
The shadows of ringdoves chanting, but easing nothing.

Sylvia Plath: The Times Are Tidy (1958)

Unlucky the hero born
In this province of the stuck record
Where the most watchful cooks go jobless
And the mayor's rotisserie turns
Round of its own accord.

There's no career in the venture
Of riding against the lizard,
Himself withered these latter-days
To leaf-size from lack of action:
History's beaten the hazard.

The last crone got burnt up
More than eight decades back
With the love-hot herb, the talking cat,
But the children are better for it,
The cow milks cream an inch thick.

"Social and Emotional Learning"

I first heard the phrase "social and emotional learning" in passing about 10 years ago, when my sister-in-law, then an educator-in-training and now a vice-principal of a local middle school, was working on a paper.

Since then, I've heard the exact phrase repeated over and over again by educators on national news stations (including tonight on Fox, supposedly a conservative network, where the concept was not challenged by the host). "Social and Emotional Learning" seems to be the driving force behind education today.

Could "Social and Emotional Learning" be a factor behind why today's young adults are so ignorant of basic things like history and science? If my sister-in-law was spouting this phrase 10 years ago, the concept has been in the works for at least a decade, when most of today's Tweet-ers were just kids.

Here's one definition of "Social and Emotional Learning" from the National Conference of State Legislatures:

Social and emotional learning (SEL) refers to to a wide range of skills, attitudes, and behaviors that can affect a student's success in school and life. Critical thinking, managing emotions, working through conflicts, decision making, and team work—all of these are the kind of skills that are not necessarily measured by tests but which round out a student’s education and impact his/her academic success, employability, self-esteem, relationships, as well as civic and community engagement.

[My Note: "Critical thinking" has obviously never been part of the SEL process.]

The site goes on to say: 

The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL) identifies five competencies of SEL: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making.

Note that the above (in)competencies leave out the all-important "critical thinking" and are also not very "academic." In fact, the above five items have nothing whatsoever to do with LEARNING. They all seem to be leftovers from some 1970s California self-help retreat.

This is what the teachers of your children are being told to focus on. Not Math, Science, English, History, Geography. But rather: Self-Awareness.

Here's a pet peeve of mine regarding the current "Climate Change" public conversation (fueled by many ignorant people on Twitter, as well as many left-wing news sources):

Yes, the global climate is currently warming. It's the warmest it's been in 200 years. But guess what: Temperature records have only been kept for about 200 years. The Earth is 4.5 billion years old. And during that 4.5 billion years, there have been numerous massive climate changes, usually occurring every 15,000 years or so. The southern part of the US used to be completely under water. The northern part of the US used to be covered by glaciers. We're currently at the end of a 15,000 year cycle.

I happened to learn the above while working for a geological group. Had I not worked for the group, would I have known the facts? Shouldn't school-kids be learning the geological facts instead of being told to rely on their "feelings" or their "relationship skills"? (Twitter, for example, teaches that you must agree with the crowd instead of thinking for yourself, or risk being ostracized and mocked. "Relationship skills" = "Being a sheep.")

Peggy Lee: It's All Over Now (1946)

Peggy Lee: I'm A Woman (1963)

My favorite line:
I can make a dress out of a feedbag, and I can make a man out of you...

Peggy Lee: Pass Me By (1965)

I especially like it when she starts SWINGING at 1:35! :)

Waltons Update

I've now figured out the regular time that Hallmark Drama shows Waltons re-runs: 10pm to 2am Central. So, mildly disappointed as I was with the first batch (from Season 1) that I saw a couple of weeks ago, I've been tuning in when it's time to go to bed.

Last night I watched 4 episodes from Season 5 ('76 to '77):

The Ferris Wheel: Elizabeth is sleepwalking because she's been traumatized by something that happened at the carnival. Today, the reveal would be that she was sexually abused by a carney. Nah---she just saw a carney guy die the year before.

The Elopement: Erin is 16 and in love with a local boy (played by Michael O'Keefe, later of "Caddyshack" fame). He asks for her hand in marriage, but John and Olivia say "no," not until she's graduated from high school (which, since she's 16, I expect to be in 2 years or so). The couple run off at midnight to a county Justice of the Peace, but, depressed by her surroundings, Erin declines the nuptials. Papa/Mama Walton show up, and all depart amicably sans any fist-fights. (Confused Note: The voice-over epilogue says that Erin went on to graduate high school while helping this boy build his home on the mountainside, BUT: See "The Career Girl" below.)

John's Crossroad: Papa John Walton lucks into a government job (and buys a fancy new hat to go with it). Mama Walton misses having him around and they kiss a lot. Papa's boss turns out to be cold-hearted, and he quits soon after. (More interesting would have been a couple more episodes of Papa Walton trying to fit in with the workaday life.) The sub-plot is Grandpa not able to find any boys to go fishing with until he settles on Elizabeth, the youngest. They have a good time until Mama Walton is disgusted by the mud on Elizabeth and she tells Grandpa to stop bothering her so she can be a girl. (Today, I was expecting some conflict out of this, but, no, Elizabeth puts on a dress and stops trying to hang out with Grandpa.)

The Career Girl: Erin graduates from high school. From "The Elopement" episode only 2 weeks earlier, I wasn't expecting her graduation so soon! OK...So I then expected the Caddyshack guy to show up again and to claim Erin for his own. No, he didn't exist any more. The jist of this show: The teacher announces the future plans for all other graduates as they march across the stage, but when she gets to Erin, she awkwardly can't think of anything to say. (Really? The teacher couldn't just say that Erin will continue working as a telephone operator for the time being?) Erin then has a Life Crisis---her actual part-time telephone operator job seems to have no future, so she gets a job as a waitress at a rough diner---Papa Walton is fine with it. Near the end of the episode, brother Jason stops by to take her home from work---only to catch a patron grabbing...her ARM. The men get in a fist-fight. (I understand that this is a family show, but couldn't the patron at least have mildly grabbed her ass? I'm sensing a real need here to re-do all Waltons episodes in a REAL-LIFE manner!) The voice-over epilogue says that Erin went on to business school and to have a family of her own. But, but... WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY FROM ONLY TWO EPISODES EARLIER THAT SHE WAS GOING TO MARRY WHEN SHE GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL---the guy that she allegedly helped build a house with??

Bad writing is annoying.

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Some other interesting tidbits that I found out while surfing the Internet today:

Both Grandpa Walton and Grandma Walton were gay in real life. Well, Grandpa Will Geer was probably only bisexual: He was married but had an affair with Harry Hay in his youth:

Geer became involved with the young Harry Hay, who later became a homosexual activist.^[3] In 1934, Hay met Geer at the Tony Pastor Theatre, where Geer worked as an actor. They became lovers, and Hay credited Geer as his political mentor.^[4] 

And Grandma Ellen Corby had been living with her partner Stella Luchetta since the 1950s.

Oh, and according to Michael Learned, both Ralph Waite and Learned (Ma and Pa Walton) were alcoholics during the time of The Waltons filming, and fell in love but never did anything about it.

Sigh. Does absolutely EVERYONE have to be weird and troubled? (Note to self: Did you actually think these were all simple Country People?! They're actors...)