Thursday, March 31, 2022
Wednesday, March 30, 2022
Stress of Changing Computers
Since 2000, a computer has been part of my daily life---when it breaks down, I guess the equivalent is when your car breaks down. Except since I now work at home and I live on a bus line, my car isn't as necessary as my computer. (Though the work computer and the smart phone make up for the temp loss of the home computer.) Getting a new computer is stressful: Will all of your old stuff be transferred correctly? What about the links and the bookmarks? In my case, what about all of my Joan Crawford website stuff? Since I was able to download Joan stuff tonight with a new computer, I guess all is OK. After a week of worrying about it. I had my last computer for 9 years, so hopefully I won't have to worry about this for another decade.
During the whole process, I had to remind myself: "You have the money for this nice new computer. These people at the store probably know what they're doing. Relax, please. Let them do their job. Enjoy your nice, new computer.
Saturday, March 26, 2022
Flashback: 1993
My heart was broken. The dark-haired woman in the pictures below was my first lover. She had broken up with me the year before. (I then got various reports of who she was with; the girl below she apparently "married"---that lasted 6 months or so.)
Found the below by accident on the "Portal to Texas History" site. Apparently, my ex is now a historical example of lesbians in 1990s Austin!
Viewing the pictures 30 years later: My ex still looks sexy to me, but also weird and creepy! I remember that red velvet bed in the 2nd picture (which her mother bought her at age 16), and her suit, and her hands, and both looks on her face. I remember going out to her family home in Gonzales, Texas, to bury her cat; and, in Austin, pushing her car up a hill when it had broken down.
I remember thinking at the time: "You're too sexy for me, and I'm too smart for you." She, at age 36 when I met her, truly had a dumb, sinister bunch of druggy, shitty friends, some accused of the 1991 "Yogurt Shop Murders" in Austin.
Thursday, March 24, 2022
Wednesday, March 23, 2022
Psychiatric Interview: Catatonic Schizophrenic (1961)
According to this man's nephew, the subject didn't know how to play the piano (he's fantasizing in this video), he was asexual, his family was extremely patient with him despite all of the chaos he caused in their lives. He ultimately killed himself.
Immediately upon viewing, I was creeped out, thinking this was something from a horror film. And then I read the majority of the YouTube comments saying this guy was completely normal...
There's an AI concept, based on a biological concept, that I heard about earlier but couldn't find the name of online just now: The gist is: A species (like us humans) is hard-wired to innately reject what seems too unusual for the survival of the species.
I was born in 1965, pre-Internet, and this subject in the video was utterly horrifying to me. And the psychiatrist interviewing him seemed utterly patient and professional. But for Millennials raised on creating their own false identities online, the psychotic was somehow sympathetic and the rational interviewer somehow a "bad guy." This is the psychotic world that Millennials (and leftists in general) want to live in.
As a member of the human species, I protest.
Tuesday, March 22, 2022
Baseball-Sized Hail
Not!
Woke up this morning after a long, intricate dream in which Sandra and I were travelling around together and trying to get jobs with various hipsters at various nightclubs (!). A guy we'd both met and mocked, she ended up making out with. I walked away after seeing them kiss... (I haven't been in contact with her in years. Wondered if this was a sign that she'd died or something.)
Later that morning, my right hand gave out on me upon merely crumpling up a thick sheet of paper! Since there wasn't much to do at work, it didn't affect any keyboarding at that time, but afterwards, it DID affect personal typing and trying to close windows before the storm and trying to hold a glass and even trying to wipe my butt, for god's sake! Whatever particular muscle in my hand that controls these movements hurts like hell!
And then around 3pm came all the Weather Warnings: "Baseball-Sized Hail!" "Tornadoes!" "Take Shelter Immediately!" After looking up "how to protect your car from hail" and doing nothing (since I just didn't feel like breaking down cardboard boxes or putting comforters on my windshields), I sat transfixed before my local weather reports on the TV screen, and I actually moved various big cushions and a blanket and a water container into an "inner room away from windows." I thought this was my punishment for not being so sympathetic toward Ukraine---God was about to blow the roof off my apartment, and I had a hurt hand and 5 cats to take care of!
Yeah, well, there was no hail. (Really? "Baseball-Sized"?). There was barely any rain. I was freaked out for about 3 hours, and then about 6pm, I went ahead and got back online and worked on my Joan Crawford website. Life goes on. (But as I write this at 12:30am, I hear ominous thunder...Fine, just don't blow the roof off my apartment, please!)
Sunday, March 20, 2022
Ukraine War
(1) Thank god for some REAL NEWS! I can finally watch CNN again. And I can only hope that the US military is now more concerned with actual world events than with tranny pronouns and paying for sex-change operations.
(2) To Ukraine: When the big nuclear power on your border --- a country that you used to be a part of --- suggests that you don't invite the CIA in to your country for training camps, and suggests that you remain neutral instead of seeking to belong to NATO, and expresses concern because of the US military and NGO money that's been flowing in since 2014 (including paying Hunter Biden $1 million per year via the Ukrainian Burisma energy company)... Then don't be surprised when you don't respond and then Russia bombs the hell out of you.
Sounds harsh? Imagine a similar scenario: Russia establishes bases in Ciudad Juarez and Nuevo Laredo on the Mexican border with the US, and gives Mexico a billion dollars in military aid, and then invites Mexico to be a member of a Russian military alliance.
The US wouldn't stand for that. (Well, Biden would, but Trump would not.)
Similarly, Russia is not standing for it. I am incredibly sorry for all of the people who have to leave their homes and families, and for all of the deaths and destruction---it's sickening and awful. (And I keep thinking of what I myself would do if I had to evacuate my home with my 5 cats---I'd most likely have to let all of them loose to fend for themselves.)
But, aside from blaming the Russians, you Ukrainians can also put part of the blame on your own inept, unintelligent, greedy government. All of that money flowing in from the US since 2014---you didn't think Russia would notice? You didn't think Russia might have a security "concern"?
Thursday, March 17, 2022
Politically Incorrect Reading Material
In the early '90s, I was at the gynecologist's office and the Indian woman doctor was trying to make small talk, asking what book I was reading at the moment. "Rise and Fall of the Third Reich," I replied. She didn't say another word to me for the rest of the exam.
In September of 1994, during my first poetry class in grad school at San Francisco State, our professor asked us what we'd been reading over the summer. Responses along the lines of "Gabriel Garcia Marquez" were met with nods of approval. My own response of "Norman Mailer" was met with a sneer and dismissal. (Later, when the gay prof found out that I was also gay, he warmed up to me.)
A couple of weeks ago, when I had my monthly meeting with my (female/gay/Asian) boss, we were genially discussing movies and screenplay-writing (we'd both written one). But when we talked about our current interests, she mentioned the web series "Awkward Black Girl" and I mentioned that I'd been on a Roman Polanski movie binge, including "Venus in Fur" (2013) and his '84 bio and a book of interviews and the 2013 autobiography of Samantha Geimer, his 1977 rape victim. Conversation came to a screeching halt.
Now, to me, all of the books that I mentioned would be topics of interesting conversation. For instance, the "Third Reich" book was written in 1960 by an anti-Nazi American journalist, William Shirer. But all the female Indian doctor heard was "Third Reich." All the gay San Francisco professor, at that time already steeped in nascent race/gender theory instead of actual literary criticism, heard was the name of a writer deemed by his academic fellows to be "toxically masculine." All my current boss heard was the name of a director accused of rape. None of them had anything intelligent to say, and so they closed me down in prim disapproval---sans any knowledge of the Third Reich, or of Mailer's work, or of Polanski's work.
I find the above intellectual dishonesty just as threatening as anything that Putin is currently doing. And since 2016, the Thought Police in the US via mainstream media and social media outlets like Twitter and Facebook have been out in full force, banning Trump (and banning legitimate stories about Hunter Biden and his Ukraine Burisma connections and the foreign money flowing to his father Joe Biden) but yet allowing China and al-Qaeda operatives to freely post on their sites. And college campuses, not allowing any free speech unless it's "radical speech." And cities, allowing their statues to be torn down based on extreme leftists' desires and not on a civic discussion or votes.
It's a fucking intellectually dishonest AND simultaneously criminally chaotic mess right now in this country. And when the inevitable backlash comes, I'll be right there cheering the fundamentalists on. (Never thought I'd say that, but there it is. I feel like the US is in a Weimar era right now---ENOUGH of scumbags trying to cancel everything that came before just because they themselves are not up to the standard; ENOUGH of the Communist and Anarchist "no borders.")
Tuesday, March 15, 2022
‘No war’: Russian Protester Detained For Crashing Live Broadcast
But according to Al Jazeera, her actual punishment was...a fine of about $280.
Andy Gibb: Flowing Rivers (1977)
Monday, March 14, 2022
Andy Gibb: Me Without You (1980)
He wrote this all by himself (sans Barry)! (Gives me goosebumps.)
(appeared as one of the "new" songs on his 1980 "Greatest Hits" album---his last album)
Sunday, March 13, 2022
Shadow Dancing: Andy Gibb (1978)
Today, though, I think that Andy Gibb's "I Just Want to Be Your Everything" (written by Barry Gibb) and "Thicker Than Water" (Barry and Andy Gibb) and "Shadow Dancing"(Barry/Robin/Maurice/Andy Gibb) are all very good songs.
I never bought any Andy Gibb album at the time, but I just now bought his Greatest Hits.
Andy Gibb died in 1988, at age 30. Official version: Heart problems. Real cause: Drugs. He'd long been an addict, even before coming to the States. (His family still blames a bad relationship with Victoria Principal.)
New Kitchen Tools
And also: I don't even know how to use most of the very-big knives. I understand that they're for "bread" and "chef" and "Santoku" and "utility" and "paring"... But I just bought the set 'cause I thought I should have some red kitchen stuff... I didn't know that I could hurt myself or that someone could stab me with these! Yikes!
Thursday, March 10, 2022
Hate-crime hoaxer Jussie Smollett sentenced to jail
Now, is he really afraid for his life, or is he---now that his career is utterly over---planning on killing himself and wanting some last-minute drama?
You might think: "Why would a person claim that someone might kill him if it wasn't true?" Well...Look at what Smollett was charged with: He falsely claimed that Trump supporters attacked him (turned out to be two Nigerian brothers that he himself hired). So, yes, this psycho is capable of anything.
Friday, March 04, 2022
December 1916: Nijinsky in Austin, Texas
Ballets Russes tour of the US (October 1916 thru February 1917). Promoter Diaghileff, after jealously firing Nijinsky in 1913 after his marriage (D. and Nijinsky had been lovers), was offered a lucrative deal for the Ballets Russes to tour the US, but only if Nijinsky appeared... Diaghileff made amends with Nijinsky, who was put in charge of the tour while Diaghileff stayed back in Europe.
The exotic, brilliant Nijinksy actually set foot in Austin, Texas! The troupe appeared at the Majestic Theatre (now the Paramount Theatre) on December 6, 1916.
An account of the Texas leg of the tour by Caroline Hamilton.
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I'm clever enough to know a great idea, but not quite clever enough to see it to its fruition... BUT, please, someone, a film: "NIJINSKY IN TEXAS"!!!
Wednesday, March 02, 2022
Embarrassing Moments from State of the Union 2022
Pelosi and Schumer are especially awkward. And Justice Breyer: As someone commented on YouTube, he acts like a 12-year-old girl (according to his Wikipedia entry, he's not gay; but I'm guessing he got married back in the "olden days" to avoid any roadblocks to his legal career).
Overall, the whole thing was ridiculous. Biden touted "made in America" but back in the '90s he was at the forefront of shipping US jobs overseas. The Obama/Biden administration told US workers to "get used to it" and adapt to the global economy. One of the first things Biden did upon taking office in 2020 was shut down the Keystone pipeline, and other US energy operations---thus forcing our country, and European countries, to import energy from Russia instead (giving Russia billions of dollars and making Russia think they had an economic hold on Germany, via the Nord Stream pipeline... and so Germany and the EU wouldn't dare object to Ukraine invasion?).
(Sidenote: Trump specifically called out Germany for not paying their fair share of NATO dues, and also took them to task for getting their energy from Russia while simultaneously being a part of NATO---which was created to protect Europe from Russia! One of Trump's tenets was also that the US should be completely energy-independent.)
What Biden naturally failed to mention during his State of the Union speech:
The US southern border is wide open, with the highest rate of illegal entries in 21 years.
US murder rates are at their highest in 25 years.