...what, sans funeral queue, am I supposed to watch on TV to inspire positive, historic contemplation within myself? Damn. The past week has also been a respite from all of the angst usually encountered on the UK Daily Mail website---most people briefly stopped their pro-/anti-Brexit insults in favor of a sense of national unity. Pre-QEII death, I usually had on Fox News in the background while I worked on my Joan website, or else football (now that it's fall), or "90-Day Fiance" marathons. Sometimes "On Patrol" marathons from Reelz.
To be clear, Fox is still a thousand times more factual than CNN or MSNBC. And the UK Daily Mail is still a thousand times more factual than the BBC and The Guardian. And "90-Day Fiance" is still a thousand times better than watching any "Housewives" franchise, with all of the racial lectures that have become ingrained in the last couple of years. And football is still so-so---some teams have taken the BLM propaganda off their helmets and end zones, but some still have not.
Some might say: "If you don't like it, turn it off." I've been addicted to television for decades now. The people talking, especially on live news sites, make me feel less alone as I constantly sit in my house by myself! (Pre-24-hr-news stations and cable, I would have FM talk-show radio on in the late-night hours---used to go to sleep to Larry King's all-night radio show in the '80s.) I would love it if there were dozens of ad-free, left-wing-propaganda-free history stations, but, alas, there are not.
I do recognize that in the last week, while watching almost only BBC coverage of QEII ceremonies, that I felt better and clearer mentally than when watching ad-filled, nonsensical, corrupt junk. I wasn't particularly a fan of getting pissed off while watching news stations or visiting websites, which I was just doing out of boredom. I also feel the internal need for some fresh air and exercise---I can say it, but I never go out and get it, except for the occasional swim over this past summer. My body and mind are TELLING ME what I need, but I'm too lethargic to respond.
I can order all the crystals and jewelry-making supplies and candle-making supplies that I can afford---and all the Ingmar Bergman movie sets that I can afford---but none of these are going to actually clear my mind. Crystals/candles/essential oils/classic movies might perhaps solve about 10% of my neuroses---most in the satisfied thoughts while ordering them rather than in the actual result upon receipt of them: Making jewelry is hard! (Those fucking jump rings and how to open/close them! And when I put all my good, positive thoughts and care into crafting a set and then I list on eBay and there's not even 1 watcher for 2 weeks!) Making candles is hard! Actually learning about crystals and what they represent is hard. Making the decision to stare at a Bergman film and think and cry for 2 hours is psychologically harder than lying there on the couch and watching 2 hours of "On Patrol." What I have thought might be "relaxation" is actually hard---like taking a damn walk around the block.
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