In order to get over something: Perhaps read about similar feelings from others again and again and again, until you finally recognize that it's universal and not just your own private hell. The below books helped me, over the past few weeks, to get over Sandra's memory---although I think that I'd already done much of the emotional, psychological work post-2018, after multiple rejections. Although, after that, she still kept coming back---up through her stroke in May of 2020, and her subsequent few e-mails to me after that point, up until early 2021. And then nothing, until her death in 2024.
Not that Sandra had anything specifically to do with the Sylvia Plath/Ted Hughes/Assia Wevill triage. ALTHOUGH: Sandra and I did take two poetry classes in the mid-1980s with Assia Wevill's 1960s husband David Wevill. And at a Christmas party at his house, we minions all left at the end of the night while Sandra stayed behind (I was in love with her then, AND SHE WAS MY RIDE! So I was doubly pissed! I caught a ride home with a couple of other boys from the class---we later sat around watching and commenting on something on TV... I know I didn't have sex with either of them; how in the world did I actually get home?).
Sandra was as beautiful, and as obsessively messed up, as Assia. Sandra told me later (and I believe her) that she and Wevill had only lain briefly together on his couch and talked. (30 years later, when I was mad at her, I'd go on to accuse: "I KNOW you slept with Wevill! That's why you got an A++ on your poetry project! Who gets a "PLUS PLUS"?!)
No comments:
Post a Comment