I feel like I'm living with a Victorian Boy Band.

Oh-so-pretty.

Tammy Wynette - Help Me Make It Through The Night (1974)

Not a secret message to anyone. Just an appreciation of Wynette's great voice/interpretation of this Kristofferson song.

Henny's Song: Hard Out Here for a Pimp - Hustle & Flow (2005)

Henny makes a break for it!

Henny, former feral cat, has been trapped inside with me for nearly 4 months now, since April 6, when she gave birth to her kittens.

Today, she made her first break for freedom!

I was in and out of the front door for a couple of hours Sunday morning, toting 3-weeks'-worth of clothes to the laundry room. My door doesn't close properly. If I just close it behind me without locking it, it comes open. I THOUGHT I was tugging it shut every time I went to the laundry room, but apparently, I didn't always.

After one trip, I came back to a door that had come open a couple of inches, with black kitten Solomon sitting right there looking out. And Mama Henny about 20 feet away, out in the rocky area in front of my apartment!

With an armload of clothes, I couldn't chase her down, but I made eye contact with her: "Henny! Hennyson! Come here!" She didn't move. Oh, shit. I went to put the clothes down on my bed, prepared to go out and run after her. (Honestly, thinking less about losing my cat than about my cat going out and getting pregnant again.)

But when I came back to the front door: She'd zipped right back inside my apartment!

Welcome home, Henny! :)

(Food, water, affectionate kitten fam now just grooming you and no longer annoyingly trying to nurse, affectionate person, AC, couch, TV, Tammy Wynette playing... vs: "It's hard out here for a cat...")

Kitten Gang

My four cats today are living in way higher style than any cat I ever had in the past!

For one thing, every other cat I ever had ate out of plastic ex-margarine containers. Today? Tin bowls set fancily in wrought-iron stands that refuse to be tumped over! (Hooray! I was getting pissed off with the intentional daily knock-overs of both food and water.)

In the past, any cat I had slept wherever, floor or bed or couch. Today? Why, a mighty Cat Castle!

Once upon a time,  they played with beer-bottle caps or bits of paper, or whatever they could find... Today? They have a tunnel and bouncy-house (once known as "throw pillows for my couch"). And a bag o' toys that I try to dole out sparingly, like jingly balls, plus some big ol' fish that they're still kinda scared of...

I know that one reason I've been buying so much stuff for these cats is that I feel guilty about forcing them to stay indoors. I've never had a purely "indoor cat." Pre-New York City, while in Austin, I had cats that I let outside in the morning when I went to work, then let back in when I came home. (Though when I moved to NYC in 2007, once-indoor/outdoor Gracie was forced to become a completely indoor cat.) Thus, I never felt responsible for keeping the cats entertained (or keeping their litter box cleaned out twice a day, since they usually pooped outside).

Also, when I lived in Austin pre-2007, I was always in a neighborhood-type-of-place where it was fairly safe to let cats out to roam freely. Today, I'm in an apartment complex next to a very busy street, with an aggressive colony of feral cats (from whence Hennessy -- my Mama Cat -- came) hanging around. And I'm still feeding, albeit only outdoors, Papa Penny, another original feral. But I don't want my new Cat Fam back out in all of that. (Henny might like a taste of her old freedom. Her being in heat constantly while trapped inside is annoying as hell. Once I get her fixed and get her shots, I plan on allowing her back outside just to see. But the kittens, no.)

WATCH: Mueller's testimony in 12 mins

Wow. And this from the left-wing PBS.

Mueller looked both senile and like he hadn't written his own report. Looking forward to an upcoming investigation into Fusion GPS, Steele, and FBI anti-Trump collaborators Strzok and Page, who attempted to "manage" the outcome of the election ahead of time. (FBI employees are supposed to be neutral, right? Right?)

Think what you will about Trump: This entire investigation was a joke and a travesty. The REAL investigation into the left-wing attempt to control the outcome of a US election is to come, hopefully.

p.s. When can we start calling "globalists" by their real (old) name: Communists. And when can we start complaining about/fighting against their infiltration without sounding crazy...

George Jones & Tammy Wynette (1973): Your Shining Face

WOW!! This is -- weirdly -- probably the most intense, profound song I've heard in the last 20 years.

I fell awake this morning and thought I saw the sun on its way down
And this evening when the sky got bright I realized that I'd been turned around
So Lord I've come again to ask you what it is and where it is I've been
And if my hands weren't dirty Lord I'd love to touch your shining face again

For I touched it as a child I could feel it for my brother
And I saw it smiling gentle your shining face among the flowers

And I recalled the times when I could come to you with open heart and mind
Knowin' I could ask you Lord you'd lead me through the valley one more time
So now I stand before you Lord to pray that you will wash away my sins
And if you'll cleanse my dirty hands I'd love to touch your shining face again

For I touched it as a child I could feel it for my brother
And I saw it smiling gentle your shining face among the flowers

Yes we touched it as a child
We could feel it for each other
And we saw it smiling gentle
His shining face among the flowers

Livin' On Easy Street (1971)

Livin' on Easy Street with a dog and a Persian cat...

The Clueless

Back when I worked as a copy editor at the publisher Holt, Rinehart and Winston in Austin from 1998 thru 2006, my boss's wife was an editor there. Known as a highly competent editor. She was plain-looking, with a cool, well-bred (rich) demeanor. An intellectual pose.

Some things that I learned about this "intellectual" while I worked with her (during work-group gatherings):

She couldn't understand why people felt the need to do Civil War re-enactments. (Me: People want to feel close to their ancestry and roots.)

She spoke proudly about a Sociology class in sexuality that she took at UT-Austin that led her and classmates to boldly enter "Chain Drive," a now-defunct leather bar in Austin, to interview workers and patrons. (Me: Me and my first girlfriend--a dominatrix--used to actually hang out there.)

Just recently I was doing an Internet search for former Holt co-workers. This woman is now the owner of a freelance editing company. And, not at all surprisingly, given her lack of any kind of actual real-life knowledge...she supports Beto O'Rourke.

Tammy Wynette - Talkin' To Myself Again (1987)

The singer/narrator is making up conversations with a long-lost lover...and she knows it!

"if i'm not careful they will have to send someone to lock me away"

This is such a dark, interesting song couched in a beautiful voice to make you forget the psychological horror. Both Tammy and George Jones are interesting like this.

Homophobic?

https://nypost.com/2019/07/15/uswnts-ashlyn-harris-fires-back-at-estranged-teammate-you-are-homophobic/

Yesterday, lesbian US women's soccer team goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris tweeted re former US teammate Jaelene Hinkle, who had declined to wear a "Gay Pride" soccer jersey 2 years ago and subsequently claimed that the US women's soccer team wasn't a "welcoming place for Christians":

“Hinkle, our team is about inclusion. Your religion was never the problem. The problem is your intolerance and you are homophobic. You don’t belong in a sport that aims to unite and bring people together. You would never fit into our pack or what this team stands for.”

Hinkle declined a call-up to the USWNT two years ago because she didn’t want to wear a Pride-themed jersey in support of LGBTQ rights.

(1) Why in the world were the US team's players asked to wear a "Gay Pride" jersey to begin with? I'm gay. I don't want to be discriminated against. I want to be allowed to marry who I want to marry, I want visitation rights at my partner's hospital bed, etc. Equal Protection under the 14th Amendment and all that good stuff. But being gay doesn't mean that the rest of the world should be forced to cheerlead/wear T-shirts for me. Give me my civil rights and leave me alone.

(2) RE being "homophobic":  "Phobia" means "fear of." I don't think that most people, including Jaelene Hinkle, "fear" gays. I think there's the old "I hate gays because what they do in bed is unnatural and against the Bible," and then: "I don't care what they do, but I don't have to be forced to support it." I think the latter is a fair stance. Again, as a gay person, I don't give a damn what people think of me --- I just want equal rights and to be left alone.

(3) RE soccer being "a sport that aims to unite and bring people together": Well, yes and no. First and foremost: Sports teams are about merit and COMPETITION. If people come together via a sports team, it's in rooting for your city/nation to defeat the competitor. It's not, obviously, about making everyone feel good or about espousing political stances.

(4) Back to the "Gay Pride" jersey issue: What's next --- Black Lives Matter, Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, I Love Jesus jerseys? None of it has anything to do with soccer. All of it should be excluded from soccer (and other sports) jerseys.

Four Cats/TV Moon

We're all sitting here peacefully listening to Tammy Wynette.

 

"Left alone, he may do something stupid."

Currently reading "The Fall of the Romanovs," which contains many original documents from those involved with the family post the March 15, 1917, abdication.

In late April 1918, the family was about to be moved from Tobolsk to their final destination, Yekaterinburg. Hemophiliac son Alexei was ill and in pain, as usual, and decisions had to be made re which family members would go first, then who would follow.  Originally, Nicholas was scheduled to travel with the four daughters, with Alexandra and son Alexei to follow. Ultimately, though, Alexandra chose to travel first with her husband and daughter Maria, leaving the invalid Alexei to be cared for by the other three daughters.

Commissar Yakovlev, in charge of the family in Tobolsk, was interviewed in May 1918 re the travel decisions. Surprised that Alexandra had elected to part from her son, he noted that it had been reported to him that Alexandra had said to a confidante, re her husband: "I am afraid that left alone he may do something stupid."

(While Alexandra's advice was usually emotionally rather than intellectually based, and thus often worthless, she nonetheless occasionally provided a backbone to her husband---and remained appalled that he had abdicated while apart from her, when alone at the front in March of 1917.)

Boogie Nights: Burt Reynolds

Boogie Nights: Jessie's Girl

One of the best scenes in cinematic history.

Boogie Nights Pool Scene

Boogie Nights: Feel My Heat

One of the best movies ever.

Dummy Rapinoe

Two weeks ago, the director of my company invited via e-mail all employees to the video room to watch the US women's soccer team play France. I replied: "As long as Rapinoe kneels for the national anthem and curses our President, I'll root for France."

My boss called me into her office and told me to NEVER send another message like that. I initially felt guilty, but then, at second thought: What was I guilty of?

As it later turned out, another employee filed an official complaint against me with the university for my e-mail, saying "In my 20 years at UT, I've never read something so outrageous." Really?

(As a lesbian, I think I'm able to be more honest than others, who might be frightened of being called "homophobic" or something. Let me say it here: Rapinoe is an uninformed idiot.)

$800 for "two cats"

After 3 months of living under the radar with my kittens, I finally decided to make the cats official with my apartment complex. Well, semi-official. The place only allows TWO pets, not FOUR. And it's (insanely) $400 per pet. I had to claim two cats, so for the $800 I picked mama Hennessy (tiger tabby) and Georgie (gray tabby) --- only because tiger-tabby Lili looks just like Mama (apartment personnel couldn't tell them apart), and mystery-black-cat Solomon is going to be the first to disappear under a bed if my apartment is ever inspected when I'm not there.

Here's the Unholy Trinity (sans Mama) sleeping on the floor right next to the Mighty Castle that I recently bought them! :)

George Jones & Tammy Wynette - Number One (1975)

Tammy Wynette & George Jones: SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT (1971)

Remember When: A Loving Tribute to Tammy Wynette and George Jones

Sung by Alan Jackson. Breaks my heart.

George Jones & Tammy Wynette interview (1973)

Tammy Wynette: Almost Persuaded (1967)

George Jones (with Merle Haggard): Silver Eagle (1982)

[Verse 1]
Well, he rides into town on the back of a big silver eagle
Strapped to his shoulders are the burden of staying on top
And the lines in his face tell the story of an uphill flight
You can tell how he feels day by day by the songs that he writes

[Verse 2]
He's loved by millions, somehow he's their prisoner as well
As he rides down the road in his ten wheel aluminum cell
Now he lives for the day that the eagle will carry him home
'Cause the glamour is over, nearly all of his seeds have been sown

[Chorus]
Let him go silver eagle, there must be a better way of life
For this great American poet who's singing his songs about
The everyday working man's life

[Verse 3]
One night on the road, just south of the Idaho line
We were smoking some contracts and attempting to alter our minds
Then just before daylight, Hag pushed back his hat and he said
"Are we putting too much emphasis on being a star?
Can we do a little bit of living instead?"

Four cats!

I can't believe that a few weeks ago I was ready to dump two of the kittens off to a shelter, just so I'd "only have two cats." (Having four cats being weird.) Granted, Solomon's failure to poop and pee where appropriate was maddening. But... he/she (so black, I can't tell) has since learned to go in the box! My apartment doesn't smell any more.

I live in a 1200-sq-ft apartment. There's room for four cats. At 12 weeks, they all get along. And I can afford to feed them. And I like them all.

Sweet-looking little "Lily" turned out to be a boy, and the most rambunctious/obnoxious of the bunch. Solid/stolid "George" turned out to be a calm, affectionate little girl (now "Georgie"). Black cat Solomon---who knows what sex, but still the explorer with his watchful eyes who does his own thing...

Along with mama Hennessy, gorgeous little cats. My cats.

Now: Appreciate the goddamn Castle, cats! :)

4th o' July

The anniversary of the last time that I had sex... (won't say how many years ago!)

My 4th o' July was spent lying on the couch watching TV and reading "The Last Days of the Romanovs," then tensing up as darkness fell, waiting for the onslaught of firecrackers. (Firecrackers from dark until midnight are fair, I think. Even until 1am. But after that, they're just punkish and abusive to neighbors.) When I first moved into this apartment complex in April 2017, a group of assholes that I had numerous other complaints about set off firecrackers in the midst of the complex--my nightmare. They've since been kicked out because many other people besides myself complained about them.

This year, fireworks did go off sporadically until about 3am, but at least they weren't RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF my apartment complex. So, I guess a good year for the lonely and the pets.

Friday, the day after the 4th: Swim, pedicure, and Cat Castle!

When trying to swim/get a tan in my apartment complex, the best time before the loud hordes show up is usually pre-1pm. I've usually been lucky with 11:30am through 1:30pm. Today, though, luck ran out early at 12:30. I'd been out there for an hour or so with another solo lady, both of us quietly sunning and swimming. At 12:30, a couple of pale super-fat girls in bikinis showed up with modern country blaring from their phone. (I can't decide which is the most obnoxious: Top 40, hip-hop, or Modern Country.)

I'd wished for another hour of peace, but oh well.

Went home, showered, and then went to get my first pedi in 2 years. Had to drive around to four different places (wondering "Why in the hell do I have to drive around looking for a nail place??"). One closed, two super-crowded, the last "normal"---albeit with the first MALE "nail technician" I've ever had! He was perfectly fine...

Slept for hours in the afternoon after all of this... Woken up numerous times by bangs on either the front door or on the wall that I share with Maintenance. Front door banging was delivery of my $130 "cat castle" that I ordered last week in order to keep my four cats from going insane with boredom living in my apartment. Took me 3 hours to put together! Was very proud of myself. And... no one has yet played on it! Come on, cats! (If I were a cat, I would think this was very cool and exciting!)

Yes, I'm aware that I'm now officially a "Cat Lady." (Hey, with extra money to spend, try and please those stuck with you!)

George Jones: I'd Rather Have What We Had (1983)

I just heard this song for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Bobby Braddock wrote it.
What great, subtle lyrics (both psychologically about relationships in general, and in particular details like "we used to drink Blue Nun there in room 321"). Plus great vocals from George.

Interestingly/sadly (for George), Tammy Wynette's co-writer for her 1979 autobiography, Joan Dew, was later interviewed and said that one of the reasons she thought Tammy left George was that offstage, he was "boring" --- he just liked to sit around watching TV.  So, though George didn't write this, when I hear it, I think of the bored Tammy breaking his heart after their initial exciting secret affair.



We used to drink Blue Nun there in room 321
Over the river where we weren't well known
Now it's two coffees then off to the office
Then back in the driveway sittin' at home

Sneaking around with me / being tied down with me
Which one would you rather have (be honest)
Dying to be with me / watching TV with me
Is this what we wanted so bad?
Well, I'd rather have what we had

We carefully planned it, what our hearts demanded
No more motel rooms, no more cheatin' lies
Now we're looking at it, a neatly wrapped package
But open it up and there's no surprise

George Jones: Good Ones and Bad Ones

Some come from Heaven and some crawl from Hell
And the good fight the bad for your soul
But it's hard to tell a lie from the truth
When you find one that's easy to hold

There's no way of knowing which one you've been lovin'
Till you leave her or lose her for good
By then it's too late, you just mark it off to fate
Either way, you end up a fool

It's a fine line between Heaven and Hell
When the good makes you feel like you should
It's a fine line between Heaven and Hell
When the bad makes you feel just as good

A good one will love you for all that she's worth
A bad one will take you for more
A good one will cherish the key to your heart
And a bad one, the key to your door

A good one will love you for richer or poorer
The bad makes the bad even worse
A good one will love you till death do you part
And a bad one makes sure you go first