Not Heard

Post-Covid, I've been working from home for 5 years now, since 2020.

While the lifestyle is easy (no traffic, no makeup, only crawling from couch/bed to computer necessary each morning), it's also very isolating if you live alone, like I do. 

When I started at this job in 2020, the boss held meet-ups every 6 months or so. Local bars; or at his house; or, once, a place his inlaws owned way out in the hills of Austin.

This boss left the job in early 2023 when we changed contracts. The new boss isn't really a "people person," and we've had only one meet-up since then, back in Fall of 2023.

A long-time employee is retiring---I THOUGHT on the last day of April. And I asked the new boss if we were holding a farewell gathering for her, etc. The first time Austin employees have met up since October 2023.

(In the meantime: Last month I planned a trip to San Francisco for the weekend of May 9 thru 11---the first vacation I've taken since 2010!)

As it turned out, the retiree's last day is Friday, May 9. And that is when the meet-up will be. Sigh. Still no chance to connect with my co-workers in a casual setting.

I wrote an e-mail to my boss: (1) Sorry I would miss the meet-up---I've felt pretty isolated from my co-workers, and was looking forward to getting together after a year-and-a-half. Maybe in the future, we all can get together once or twice a year? (2) Already had the mini-vacation to San Fran planned (seeing a Joan Crawford play, visiting my old apartment); didn't know that this exact Friday would be the day that this person left. (3) What should we get the retiree as a going-away gift? She HATES Musk and Trump, so how about a Hot-Wheels Tesla car as a joke gift---ha-ha!

I got a one-line mail response: "Have fun in San Francisco!"

SIGH. I didn't send the e-mail to get congrats on a brief weekend trip. Rather, I expressed regret that I would miss this meet-up, and wished we would all meet up more often, because I was feeling very isolated from all of my co-workers. And would the joke gift be funny or not?

Got a generic response, saying nothing.

It's like I don't exist at all with these people. Like with my own family! Ha! And also NOT "Ha." Sometimes it's incredibly depressing. When all you get is a very generic response for anything you say... That said, though: Decades ago, I remember reading a study of suicides. One person wrote (before he killed himself): "If one person smiles at me today, I will live." Apparently, no one did. This guy in the suicide study DID kill himself.

I'm not THAT fragile, but... Being by myself, the reactions of other random people do matter moreso than they would if I had a large group of family and friends, etc. For instance: I am always very grateful for the very friendly guy at the sandwich shop, who has a great personality. The people at the post office are also all very friendly. The USPS guys/gals are also very nice. It makes a big difference.