It's Only Love (Beatles/Lennon 1965)

I think this song, and John Lennon, were my first love.
This song came out in 1965, on the Beatles' "Rubber Soul" album.
I was born in 1965 and first heard this song in 1980.

I used to think John was so subtly sensitive.
He was---pre and post Yoko's left-wing politics.

I get high when I see you go by,
My oh my,
When you sigh, my, my inside just flies,
Butterflies,
Why am I so shy when I'm beside you?
It's only love and that is all,
Why should I feel the way I do?
It's only love and that is all,
But it's so hard loving you.
Is it right that you and I should fight
Every night?
Just the sight of you makes night-time bright,
Very bright.
Haven't I the right to make it up, girl?
It's only love and that is all,
Why should I feel the way I do?
It's only love and that is all,
But it's so hard loving you.
Yes, it's so hard loving you...

21 vs 61

Back when I was 21, I had no lover. One Friday night, alone, I sat on my bed, looking up the Zodiac birthday signs of various poets in the anthology that I'd been reading. (I don't now remember what the prevalent sign was----probably Water or Air.)

40 years later, at 61, I again have no lover. One Friday night, alone, I sit before my computer...

Aw shucks...

Back in July, a French TV producer e-mailed me to see if I was willing to be interviewed for a documentary to be shown on the French/Euro TV channel Canal+ in May 2027, on the topic of "Why Joan Crawford Remains Relevant Even 50 Years After Her Death."

I readily agreed! 

I then had two choices: Either be interviewed in LA in July or NYC in October.  I chose NYC in October. (Aside from looking forward to talking about Joan for a TV program, I'd also lived in NYC from 2007 thru 2010, and was looking forward to seeing it again after 16 years.)

Alas, when the producer finally confirmed the October 9-10 interview dates earlier today, he also told me that his production company could not afford to pay for my airfare or hotel stay! 

Sigh.

I looked up round-trip airfare for Austin-NYC, and looked up low-level-but-decent NYC hotels. I would have been paying about $2000 for plane/hotel/Uber/etc over 3 or 4 days there.

Ya know----I'd love to be filmed talking about Joan Crawford for a Euro TV program that might be streamed later. But I also think that any reputable production company could afford to pay @ $2000 to fly in/house an interviewee. 

Only a couple of years ago, a local play director in San Francisco offered me a free ticket to his small Joan Crawford play. I flew out there (on my own dime) to see the play, because I hadn't been to San Francisco since my graduate-school days there in the mid-1990s and was looking forward to seeing the city again, and because I hadn't been ANYWHERE in years! It was a fun thing to do.

So I was thinking to myself about this current opportunity, once I knew that the producer didn't want to pay for it: OK, it's "only" $2000 or so... That's $2000 for a lifetime of memories and talking points: "When I Got Interviewed in NYC for a Joan Crawford Documentary"!  

But still... Any production company should be able to pay the basic airfare/hotel rooms for its interviewees. Being over the age of 40, I went with my logic.

So, alas, I won't be a part of this upcoming documentary on Joan. But I look forward to seeing it!

Lesbian Bar Finally Ditches Masks, Gets Grief from the Violent Sickly

 https://nypost.com/2026/09/22/us-news/massachusetts-lesbian-bar-nearly-bullied-out-of-town-after-lifting-mask-mandate-for-one-night/

A lesbian bar in Massachusetts just now, in 2026, finally got rid of its COVID mask policy. And immediately caught fire from some of its patrons:

“I hope your venue gets firebombed for robbing my fellow immunocompromised people of their Saturday plans just to scrape extra revenue from ablists [sic],” one commenter wrote on the western Massachusetts bar’s post announcing the change, the Boston Globe reported.

“People like you kill disabled people in the name of your own leisure and convenience,” wrote another, while a third said, “Just say you’re being complicit in a mass disabling event and get it over with.”

-------------

I'm old now and don't go out to bars any more like I used to, but... 

If I remember correctly, the whole point of going out to bars---yes, even to lesbian bars---as a younger person was (1) to dress up and look cute and try to meet people. And (2) to try to find a sense of community.

Gay bars were never a place for "immunocompromised people" and their "Saturday plans." If you're THAT "immunocompromised," shouldn't you be staying home in a safe environment rather than going out to city bars, which are surely the most "germy" places you can possibly find? 
No bar owner is trying to KILL you! (ha!) Bar owners are trying to make money by hosting a fun place for ABLEIST people to gather. The world is not about you DIS-abled.

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henny_Penny

Given the recent AI hysteria in the media, I was reminded of many other mass hysterias (all propagated by left-wingers) that I've experienced in my lifetime:

Nuclear Destruction. After the constant media "bomb scares" from the 1950s thru the 1980s, there is STILL a "Doomsday Clock" published by Communist academics today, saying how close we all are to death: https://thebulletin.org/doomsday-clock/

Y2K. Back in 1999, every media outlet claimed that all of our computer systems were about to be totally shut down once we reached the year 2000! OMG! (Nothing happened.)

Climate Change:  In 2019, Communist politicians like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (and many others like her) claimed that "the world will end in 12 years" because of climate change. https://thehill.com/policy/energy-environment/426353-ocasio-cortez-the-world-will-end-in-12-years-if-we-dont-address/  Wow---In 2026, we're only 5 years away!

AI:  As I've just been hearing everywhere on TV and online in the past week: AI is going to end human civilization within the next 10 years! OMG!  https://www.newsweek.com/will-ai-cause-human-extinction-10-years-asked-ai-12419575

Question: Why is it that the Communists among us (and their Media buddies) are always proclaiming the End of Civilization? Could it be that such Hysterics are historically mentally ill and should not be in charge of anything?

Hemingway Brain-Damaged Interview in Havana (1954)

The Ken Burns 3-part PBS documentary on Hemingway came out in 2021, but I only watched it just now (only the 2nd and 3rd parts; the 1st part not yet available via DVR).

The below is a 1954 NBC interview with Hemingway in his home in Havana, re his upcoming Nobel Prize award.

This breaks my heart. He's only 55, but has completely lost his ability to speak naturally.

Prior to this interview, he'd recently suffered two serious concussions in only two days while in Africa. I had not realized from reading any bios (only when I saw this video) how those injuries had affected him. I knew that he was incapacitated mentally in his last couple of years ('60 and '61), but watching this, I realized he wasn't himself after about 1954.

(He granted this 1954 interview with the caveat that he knew the questions ahead of time. But even with that: He was not even mentally sound enough to avoid saying "period" and "comma" as he read his text.)

Hemingway shot himself to death in 1961, but he was already dead here in 1954.

 

Dolly Parton: My Tennessee Mountain Home

 

Dolly Parton: Mule Skinner Blues

 

9/11 Nat Geo Doc

Watched all 6 hour-long episodes on 9/11, which I'd never seen before. In the 6th episode, was struck by the interview with "Chuck Sereika," a self-confessed messed-up, drug-addled dude---and a former paramedic---who only went to the site because his estranged sister had left a phone message, saying that she knew that he was down there helping. (He hadn't planned on helping, but her message inspired him to go. He ended up being a rescuer for a buried fire-fighter.)

#4 UT Longhorns vs #1 Ohio State (Sept 12)

This was THE highest-ranked team we (Longhorns) 
were scheduled to play this year.
We HAD to win this game to maintain national playoff hopes.
It looked very, very bad for more than 3 quarters (23 - 3 at the end of the 3rd).
FINAL SCORE (in dramatic fashion): UT 24, Ohio State 23!

Where I Was on 9/11/2001

I was working from home in Austin, had been doing so for the past year or so. 

When I woke up on that morning, a Tuesday, my first online check was to see what people on my "Joan Crawford" Yahoo message board had been posting. Specifically, I had been in an ongoing feud with "Julie/Geir" and wanted to see what she/he had posted overnight.

How real-life trauma interferes with your minor personal beefs.

Sinners & Saints (George Jones, 1999)

 This song, and the two below:
My god, what great vocals and great playing!

The Lone Ranger (George Jones, 1996)

 

Ain't Love a Lot Like That (George Jones, 1999)

 

Return to Weehawken?

I MIGHT be going back to NYC in October!

If so, I look forward to seeing both NYC and Weehawken, NJ, again after 16 years. I thought both were beautiful and amazing back in 2007-2010----but will I still think so today? (When I was there, Bloomberg was still in charge of NYC. How badly have deBlasio and Mamdani junked it up?)

And in Weehawken: For one thing, the nearby big grocery store---Pathmark-- that I used to walk to is now gone. I want to see if any of the local shops are left, also: My sandwich place, my pizza place, my beer store. And where I used to live: The Kimmeys (Art and Carol) owned the building; lived in the bottom part, rented out the top part. They're probably dead by now (they were in their 70s at the time). But I will never forget the time I brought home a window-unit air-conditioner via cart that I'd bought at the Pathmark, and then couldn't manage to get it up the stairs to my apartment. It sat there at the foot of the stairs for a day or two, and then Korean War-vet Art Kimmey, in his 70s, asked me if I needed help with that! He then tossed the big, heavy box on his shoulder and marched up the stairs with it! THAT is a real man!

 

(And his wife was equally nice: They had laundry machines in their basement that they had not allowed previous upstairs tenants to use. But I think they saw me hauling my laundry in a cart to the laundromat next to the Pathmark a few times, and then after a month or so, invited me to use their personal machines----for which I was very grateful for the next 2 years.) 

Another fond memory of my time living above them: At one point, it was Art's 70th birthday, and they had family over, and were cranking up the 1950s tunes! The next day, they---the owners of the place---apologized to ME for being so loud! :)

At the end of my time there, they knew that I was packing up big boxes full of my stuff and shipping them home to my mother in San Antonio. And Art Kimmey offered to drive me to the post office (also in the same Pathmark complex) with all of those boxes. That offer, I refused, since I had a cart, and the post office was pretty close. 

Very nice people. I wonder, since they owned the building, if their kids now live there. I plan on visiting that beautiful neighborhood, only a couple of minutes' walk to the Hudson, and the view of the NYC skyline. The most physically gorgeous place I've ever lived. Oh, and just a 15-minute bus trip to Weehawken from the Times Square Port Authority bus station. Are there still the NYC "Gypsy" buses for a couple of dollars that stop on Boulevard East in Weehawken?

Viva Les Amis (2005 doc)

 Brief doc of Austin's "Les Amis" cafe (featured in the 1990 movie "Slacker").
This Austin cafe existed from 1970 to 1997. 
(My time spent there: In the early '90s, 
I was in love with a girl at the library where I worked. 
She had a group of friends that went there every Friday after work, 
and I was invited---Gee, thanks!)

While this short touts Les Amis as THE place to hang out for artsy UT students:
In actuality, most of us English/Art majors in the '80s went to the Union, 
and to the Cactus Cafe, both located on campus.
The Union offered cheap pitchers of beer, and you could smoke there at that time. 
This is where groups of us would go after a poetry class to hang out and discuss.
The Cactus Cafe, just adjacent to the Union, was a bit more chi-chi---
more suited during the day for sitting by yourself and reading/writing.
(At night, a singer/songwriter forum.)

Lindsay Clancy Drugs Prescribed

Here are the various medications Clancy was prescribed leading up to her murders of her three children on Jan. 24, 2023, according to a medication list shown in court by the Defense on July 27:

• Sept. 15, 2022: Sertraline (25 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Oct. 21, 2022: Lorazepam (0.5 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Oct. 26, 2022: Hydroxyzine (25 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Oct. 26, 2022: Lorazepam (1 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Oct. 26, 2022: Buspirone (5 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Nov. 2, 2022: Lorazepam (0.5 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Nov. 9, 2022: Buspirone (5 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Nov. 16, 2022: Trazodone (50 mg) – Kayvon Izadpanah, MD
• Nov. 21, 2022: Fluoxetine (10 mg) – Julie Paul, RN, CNP
• Nov. 25, 2022: Zolpidem (5 mg) – Julie Paul, RN, CNP
• Nov. 25, 2022: Mirtazapine (7.5 mg) – Julie Paul, RN, CNP
• Nov. 25, 2022: Clonazepam (0.5 mg) – Julie Paul, RN, CNP
• Nov. 30, 2022: Quetiapine (25 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Dec. 6, 2022: Diazepam (5 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Dec. 7, 2022: Diazepam (5 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Dec. 7, 2022: Quetiapine (100 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Dec. 9, 2022: Diazepam (5 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Dec. 13, 2022: Diazepam (2 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Dec. 16, 2022: Lamotrigine (25 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Dec. 19, 2022: Diazepam (2 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Dec. 19, 2022: Quetiapine ER (300 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Dec. 21, 2022: Quetiapine (100 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Dec. 22, 2022: Quetiapine (25 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Jan. 5, 2023: Trazodone (50 mg) – Alia Goodheart, MD
• Jan. 5, 2023: Lorazepam (1 mg) – Alia Goodheart, MD
• Jan. 9, 2023: Diazepam (5 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Jan. 12, 2023: Trazodone (150 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Jan. 13, 2023: Diazepam (2 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Jan. 16, 2023: Diazepam (2 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Jan. 16, 2023: Amitriptyline (10 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
• Jan. 19, 2023: Diazepam (2 mg) – Rebecca Jollatta, NP
• Jan. 23, 2023: Diazepam (2 mg) – Jennifer Tufts, MD
  
  ------------------------------------------
  
  The above drugging is insane.
  
  Clancy is on record as having sought help for her post-partum depression. 
  She sought to be admitted to treatment centers on two occasions.
  Rather than admitting her, she was given a cornucopia of drugs instead. 
  
  I think the utterly incompetent doctors should be prosecuted. 
  And, yes, I think they're young, female DEI doctors---admitted into practice since 2016---and not actual doctors. (All standards pre-2016 were a lot tougher; post-2016, a joke.)
  
  

Delta Dawn (Tanya Tucker, 1972)

This was the 14-year-old Tanya Tucker's first hit single on the Country charts.

When I was an obnoxious little kid, I insisted on performing this in front of family members. 
I think the grandparents liked it, because I remember singing it 
several times in front of people at various family gatherings.

"She's 41, and her daddy still calls her Baby... 

Folks around Brownsville say that she is crazy"

What in the hell was I singing about?!

 

Not Waving, But Drowning

I saw this sticker online recently, and it made me laugh.
Reminded me of the 1957 Stevie Smith poem:

Nobody heard him, the dead man,   

But still he lay moaning:

I was much further out than you thought   

And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking

And now he’s dead

It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,   

They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always   

(Still the dead one lay moaning)   

I was much too far out all my life   

And not waving but drowning.