Stopping Point in My Life

Now that I'm in my 50s, there's nothing else left for me to do other than try to---what's the word?---ameliorate the rest of my years on this earth. At this point, I'm obviously not going to advance much in life. I've reached a respectable point in my editing career that I can only hope to coast on for the next 10 years until I retire. (Not a given, mind you, since I don't work for the government---I can be let go at any time.)

I won't ever have a house. But, as I discovered a couple of years ago when I tried to buy one for the first time: The monthly mortgage would be more than my monthly rent. And when a fridge or a dishwasher or a heating system broke, as they have during my past few years at my apartment complex, I'd have to pay for that, and arrange for maintenance guys, if I owned my own home.

In my 50s, I'm too old for that now. The time for buying a house is in your 30s, with a partner, with hopes and dreams for the future. When you're a 50-something woman on her own, though, you don't "dream" about what all you can be fixing up for the next 20 years. Rather, you just want a place with maintenance provided.

So...No more dreams of a house. I can, though, dream of a rent-controlled senior condo! One that allows me to smoke (ha! not likely nowadays), and one that prevents kids from visiting for more than 2 weeks per year (no one without grandkids wants any obnoxious grandkids around).

I'm kind of stuck right now, and don't see anything else in my future other than the above. I've come to terms with the above, but it would still be nice if something else turned up!