I haven't seriously thought about it, but I kinda just thought about it: Working from home, I am BY MYSELF ALL THE TIME. For the most part, I am content with myself, but sometimes (especially after watching "90 Day Fiance")... it would be nice to hang out with someone, or travel to somewhere/anywhere with someone! I'm VERY bored with my generic Austin surroundings right now. (The other day, as I was leaving my usual Austin supermarket, I flashed back to the times when I would step out of a supermarket and get a mild thrill looking out at my surroundings, after being interested in the types of people that I'd been shopping with... When I lived briefly in San Francisco, for instance, my supermarket was located right along the ocean...)
Back in the early '90s, right after my breakup with my first girlfriend, was the first and only time I ever tried putting a personals ad in the local weekly paper (which was the only way most people did personals pre-Internet). At that time, I advertised for "woman-seeking-woman." The results: Many offers from couples for sex meet-ups, a few responses from women who were not attractive (at that time, we actually enclosed photos in letters), one response from my ex (she didn't realize it was me placing the ad! Hey, wasn't that supposed to be a fun "Pina Colada"-type reunion?), one punk teenager who sent me a mix tape (we ended up going to see Concrete Blonde together in Austin, and I had to drive her home to her parents' trailer an hour outside of town at 3 in the morning---no, no "love connection"), and one woman that I ended up dating/sleeping with for 3 months or so (at the time, she was a DJ at a local alternative radio station, which I thought was cool; she lived in a rooming-house with a bathroom down the hall; we went to see Siouxsie and the Banshees together; just found out a couple of years ago that she's now a transgender man---which is good for her because...let me just say that oral sex with her as a woman was kind of gross).
I've always been "bi." And the older I get, the more I'm attracted to men, especially after the female weirdos I ran after in my younger years. Not all were "weirdos," of course, but... aside from the actual weirdos, there were many who acted like they were attracted to me, then backed off when I responded. (A girl in college who told me all about her various "bi" exploits, including sleeping with both the male and female of a couple; after she and I slept together, she retreated to her gray-bearded longtime boyfriend. A close friend who liked getting massages from me but was repulsed when I finally expressed my attraction. An acquaintance who hosted karaoke at gay bars and who flirted with me and kissed me and invited me over to spend the night but then proclaimed her straightness. You get the picture. The ones who pretended to be "gay-friendly" caused more psychological damage to me than "straight society" ever did.) What I've always missed about men is their initial forthrightness: If they're interested, they're interested.
All of that said... Yeah, imagine me trying to explain all of the above utter crap to a date from Silver Singles, if it ever became serious! :)
I'd now like to date a man (I find Trump and Bill Clinton and George Jones and Ted Hughes attractive), but just imagine if the unsuspecting mature man (ages 51 to 61) asked me what music I was currently listening to: "Oh, I'm collecting CDs of ballets that Nijinksy danced to, and then Lynyrd Skynrd." Or if he asked me about politics: "Well, I was an Independent, mainly a Democrat, up until Trump in 2016, and now I've become a rabid Trumpist/Libertarian." I don't want an uptight Bush Republican; and I don't want a wimpy, academic Democrat; and I don't want an ignorant, sloppy working-class guy. But I do seek the simultaneously righteous and expansive soul of an artist sans the usually accompanying scuzziness, which is probably impossible---unless he's post 50 and has had a post-menopausal spiritual awakening of some sort! Ha!
Back in the early '90s, right after my breakup with my first girlfriend, was the first and only time I ever tried putting a personals ad in the local weekly paper (which was the only way most people did personals pre-Internet). At that time, I advertised for "woman-seeking-woman." The results: Many offers from couples for sex meet-ups, a few responses from women who were not attractive (at that time, we actually enclosed photos in letters), one response from my ex (she didn't realize it was me placing the ad! Hey, wasn't that supposed to be a fun "Pina Colada"-type reunion?), one punk teenager who sent me a mix tape (we ended up going to see Concrete Blonde together in Austin, and I had to drive her home to her parents' trailer an hour outside of town at 3 in the morning---no, no "love connection"), and one woman that I ended up dating/sleeping with for 3 months or so (at the time, she was a DJ at a local alternative radio station, which I thought was cool; she lived in a rooming-house with a bathroom down the hall; we went to see Siouxsie and the Banshees together; just found out a couple of years ago that she's now a transgender man---which is good for her because...let me just say that oral sex with her as a woman was kind of gross).
I've always been "bi." And the older I get, the more I'm attracted to men, especially after the female weirdos I ran after in my younger years. Not all were "weirdos," of course, but... aside from the actual weirdos, there were many who acted like they were attracted to me, then backed off when I responded. (A girl in college who told me all about her various "bi" exploits, including sleeping with both the male and female of a couple; after she and I slept together, she retreated to her gray-bearded longtime boyfriend. A close friend who liked getting massages from me but was repulsed when I finally expressed my attraction. An acquaintance who hosted karaoke at gay bars and who flirted with me and kissed me and invited me over to spend the night but then proclaimed her straightness. You get the picture. The ones who pretended to be "gay-friendly" caused more psychological damage to me than "straight society" ever did.) What I've always missed about men is their initial forthrightness: If they're interested, they're interested.
All of that said... Yeah, imagine me trying to explain all of the above utter crap to a date from Silver Singles, if it ever became serious! :)
I'd now like to date a man (I find Trump and Bill Clinton and George Jones and Ted Hughes attractive), but just imagine if the unsuspecting mature man (ages 51 to 61) asked me what music I was currently listening to: "Oh, I'm collecting CDs of ballets that Nijinksy danced to, and then Lynyrd Skynrd." Or if he asked me about politics: "Well, I was an Independent, mainly a Democrat, up until Trump in 2016, and now I've become a rabid Trumpist/Libertarian." I don't want an uptight Bush Republican; and I don't want a wimpy, academic Democrat; and I don't want an ignorant, sloppy working-class guy. But I do seek the simultaneously righteous and expansive soul of an artist sans the usually accompanying scuzziness, which is probably impossible---unless he's post 50 and has had a post-menopausal spiritual awakening of some sort! Ha!
I do, though, have a sincere interest in travelling around in an RV to all the states when I retire---maybe that might be a selling point. Oh, and I'm sincerely interested in how the Dallas Cowboys do every year...
Sigh. Personals didn't work for me back in the '90s, and I don't think they'll work for me now. I can't explain myself to anyone.
Sigh. Personals didn't work for me back in the '90s, and I don't think they'll work for me now. I can't explain myself to anyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment